Yesterday’s meal was one that everyone in the family enjoys. For several years, I made a recipe for Red Beans and Rice in the crock pot that everyone liked, but it was kind of dry, without a sauce. I was looking for a change, and I came across this recipe, which is still very simple, yet pleased everyone. I double this one as well to feed my large family. Personally, I always double and triple recipes so we will have leftovers for Todd to take to work and for us to eat for lunch. I also will freeze leftovers to get another meal out of an evening’s offerings. I love to stock up my freezer in order to have things I can easily take out and serve if I’m in a pinch. These beans freeze very well, and it’s simple to take out, thaw, heat and serve over freshly steamed rice.
NOTE: By the way, I like using dry beans for this, but you can actually use canned, if you prefer not having to soak the beans overnight. If I ever forget to soak the beans overnight, however, I rinse the beans, and cover with about 2 inches of water in a saucepan. Then I bring the beans to a boil for 1 minute, remove from heat, cover and allow the beans to soak for one hour. After that, I rinse the beans and they are ready to go into the recipe, just as if I had soaked them overnight. Overnight soaking is still preferable, though.
Red Beans and Rice
Ingredients:
1 pound dry red beans (or 4 cans of red/kidney beans–see note below)
water
salt pork, ham hocks, or sausage, cut into small chunks (I like using the salt pork–I just cut off most of the fat)
2 tsp salt (you can cut this out or reduce if you like)
1 tsp pepper
3-4 cups water
6-oz can tomato paste
8-oz. can tomato sauce
4 garlic cloves, minced
Instructions:
1. Soak beans for 8 hours (overnight) or use quick- soak method. Drain, discard soaking water.
2. Mix together all of the ingredients in slow cooker.
3. Cover. Cook on low 10-12 hours, or until beans are soft. Serve over rice.
Note: If using canned beans, cook 1 hour on high, then reduce heat to low, and cook for 3 more hours.
Here is a fun thing I did a few years ago on my old blog. Last time, I challenged myself to cook at least one meal (or even side dish or drink) per day in my crock pot for 30 days. It could be anything, including breakfast. Sometimes I even made more than one meal a day in the crock pot, at times using multiple crock pots (I own more than one). This time around, I will be challenging myself to cook one or more recipe in the crock pot for the entire month of December. I will post daily updates with recipes, suggestions for modifying recipes, as well as my family’s (and my) reaction to each meal.
Before I begin by posting the recipes for Days 1 and 2, I must mention the fact that I just love my crock pot. I have thought about writing a little poem entitled “Ode to My Crock Pot,” but I haven’t come up with all the verses yet. My oldest daughter makes fun of my fondness for my crock pot, but the truth is, I truly love that thing! I use mine most days, even when I am not challenging myself to cook something in it for a month straight. As a busy mom, I just love putting something in the crock pot in the morning and just letting it simmer away all day while I teach school, run errands, or do whatever may be on my plate on any given day. So, join me on this crock pot adventure. Try the recipes and let me know what you think. Of course, always feel free to share my blog with anyone you think might be interested in it.
Day 1: Calico Beans I have a large family and a somewhat tight budget, so lately I have been trying to stretch the old grocery budget as much as possible. Beans are a great way to do that! People talk about living on rice and beans when times are tough economically, and I’m here to tell you that eating beans can be delicious AND beans can be easily put in the crock pot in the morning and turned into a scrumptious meal while you get on with your busy day. My children love this meal, and it’s just so quick and easy to make! It’s a hit over here, so it often appears on our weekly menu! I double this to feed my family of 12.
Ingredients:
1 pound bacon, sliced
1 onion, chopped
1/2 cup ketchup
1/3-1/2 cup brown sugar, according to taste
3 Tablespoons cider vinegar
28-oz. can pork and beans, drained
16 oz. can kidney beans
16 oz. can butter beans
Instructions:
1. Brown bacon in skillet. Drain, reserving 2 Tbsp. drippings. Saute onion in bacon dripping.
2. Mix together ketchup, sugar, and vinegar.
3. Combine all ingredients in a slow cooker.
4. Cover and Cook on low 3-4 hours.
Day 2: Split Pea Soup OK, I know some of you will not even want to try this one. But trust me, it’s actually really good! My husband loves split pea soup. It is rich in vitamins and is listed as one of the helthiest legumes one can eat. I love this recipe. It is a huge hit with my husband, and more than half of the kids like it, too :). You can vary this recipe by using turkey sausage for your meat or just taking the meat out and making it vegetarian. It is a bit spicy with the sausage, so if you have kids, you may want to use a breakfast sausage or something a little milder, or just plain ground meat. Admittedly, my kids don’t all like this. In fact, I have a couple who act like they might just die if I make this dish again, but everyone eats it when I make it (at our house, that’s the only choice). I’m hoping they will all grow to actually like it in time. I’ve only made this recipe a handful of times. Again, I double this recipe even though not everyone adores this one. Todd and I eat the leftovers for lunch for a few days.
Ingredients: 1 pound bulk sausage (pork, turkey, or ground meat of your choice…or omit)
6 cups water
1 bag (2 1/4 cups) dry split peas
2 medium potatoes, diced
1 onion, chopped
1/2 tsp. dried marjoram, or thyme
1/2 tsp. pepper
Instructions:
1. Wash and sort dried peas, removing any stones. Then combine all ingredients in slow cooker.
2. Cover. Cook on Low 12 hours (or you can start it on high for a couple of hours and then cook on low for 5-6 hours more).
Today, I will be making a family favorite–Red Beans and Rice! Stay tuned for the recipe!
We are deep in the middle of the adoption process. No longer at the beginning, yet it feels like we are a bit of a way off from the end! So far, most of our paperwork is in the final stage, which is at the Chinese consulate of whatever in which it originated, and we are waiting for those documents to be returned to us. We have completed our homestudy and are waiting for our social worker to send the final approved homestudy to us and our agency. I will say this: everyone told me that was the easiest part, and it truly wasn’t bad at all. Those of you who know us know that our house is far from perfect, and most of the time it can be quite a mess. In preparation for the home study, we cleaned out a whole lot of clutter from the inside of the house, and did a lot of the outside cleaning up and projects we had been wanting to finish. We had met with the social worker individually already, so when she came to our house, we had a joint interview (Todd and I), and then she met with each of the children individually. The day of the homestudy, I think our house was just about as clean and pleasant as it has been since we built the addition! I felt so good about everything. I had gone around and covered all the outlets, stored our knives up high, put all the medicines (prescription and OTC) in a lock box high in the pantry. The children were all super well-behaved, and they all expressed their excitement about the adoption. It went so well. I was so relieved to have that part behind us. It was a wonderful feeling when the social worker told us as she left that she thought our family was amazing, and she couldn’t wait to help us add to it!
For the last several weeks, we have continued to pray for wisdom regarding whether we should adopt a second child at the same time as Xiao. God led us to a 12-year-old girl, and we have been praying that God would speak clearly as He has through this whole process. The girl we have been praying about was brought to our attention by someone who has a connection with the foster family and orphanage where she lives and goes to school, so we didn’t find her on the waiting child list. They have been able to tell us a lot about her. She seems really sweet and seems like she would be a really good fit for us at the same time with Xiao. I felt pretty sure about it from the beginning, when we first learned about her. We wanted Todd to feel peace about it, so we continued to pray. This wasn’t something we wanted to rush into, and we certainly didn’t want to do it if only one of us felt called to do so while the other was not comfortable. After several weeks, much prayer and counsel, we have decided that we will be moving forward with the adoption of this little girl as well as Xiao. We are both at peace with the decision and are excited about moving forward. Yesterday, we sent in the paperwork for her, and we are waiting for all the funds to come in to get all of it sent to the Chinese government for preapproval. I will write more about her soon. We want to thank everyone who has been praying for this decision, and we now ask that you continue to pray for us as we all prepare our hearts and our home to welcome these two precious children. We know it is going to be very hard, so we covet your prayers and we will definitely take you up on your offers to help as we bring them home.
We are doing a few things to raise money, if anyone would like to support us. We are going to be holding a garage sale on December 12th. If anyone local has anything to donate to the garage sale, we would love to have things to sell, especially furniture and other larger items. If you have anything to give, please feel free to contact me and we can arrange to get it from you. Also, if anyone wants to help us prepare for the sale and on the day of the sale, let me know. We will be having the sale in Circle C off of Davis Rd. at the home of some dear friends.
We are also selling t-shirts! We will get about $10 for every shirt sold! The shirts are being sold through Bonfire Funds, and it is awesome because all we have to do is design the shirts and as long as we sell at least 11 shirts, they will go to print and ship directly to our supporters! We designed a shirt with no personal references on them so that they can be sold to more people, so if you know anyone who would like to support adoption, or even anyone who has adopted themselves, this shirt would be great for them! They say “Every Heart Deserves a Home” with a map of China and a heart inside China on the front. The back reads, “A Father of the fatherless…God makes a home for the lonely.” Isn’t that awesome?! You can go to this link to see the shirt and purchase. There are options in both short sleeve, women’s short sleeve, long sleeve, hoodies, and youth sizes! Spread the word! Share this link with everyone you know! We would love to sell lots of these shirts to help us get closer to our goal and bring our children home! It would also be great to get photos of everyone who buys the shirts to have for the kids to see someday that all of these people were thinking of them before they even came home. Go to this link to buy a shirt, and please feel free to share and spread the word!
So far, this adoption journey has been an incredible story of God speaking in our lives. I can’t even begin to really explain how intimately God has been speaking to me during this time. It was amazing to me that just a few months ago, I began to pray again about adoption. It was something I hadn’t been actively praying about for quite a while. But God laid that on my heart, and so I prayed. Just a few weeks later, all of the events began to unfold that led us to Xiao.
I have to admit, I have my moments of fear. Not doubt. I don’t doubt that this is what God is calling our family to do. Every now and then, however, especially when I read stories of the struggles others have had with adoption, I wonder why God is calling us to do something so difficult. We move forward, nevertheless, in faith. We are certain He has called us, and so we are certain that He will equip us and give us everything we need to get ready and to parent Xiao.
With our agency, you can adopt two unrelated children simultaneously. The fees are significantly lower than they are to bring the first child home. So, of course, we have been considering this from the beginning of the adoption process. We are putting forth all this effort, we are paying all of this money, and we will be traveling and taking this huge journey. We felt that we should at least consider giving a second child a forever family.
As soon as we started talking about a second child, I began to look at the waiting child photolisting, which can be a really bad thing to do in some ways! Originally, speaking with Xiao’s host mom, we thought maybe a younger child, 2 to 3 years old would be “easiest” to bring home at the same time as Xiao. So, I was looking for a younger child. A couple of weeks ago, I found two little boys who I thought could be good matches. After I received the file on one little boy, another family decided to adopt him, so he was no longer available for adoption. I began to pray about the second little boy. He had a metabolic disorder that would require a special diet. I thought we could manage it. This little guy is 19 months old, and so cute. As I shared his file with Todd, I prayed that God would really make it clear if we should adopt this baby along with Xiao. I wanted what was best for Xiao, but also to bless another child with a family.
The little baby’s file was being returned just a few days after I found him, which made our decision urgent. I asked friends to pray, and so did Todd. He was feeling uneasy, and I was feeling like I really wanted to adopt that baby. We were torn. It is a heartwrenching thing to think that you are considering a human life and deciding whether or not you can take him out of a life with no family or leave him there in the orphanage for who knows how much longer. It is really difficult to think about.
Over the weekend, Todd was still feeling uneasy about taking the baby. I received a message from Xiao’s host mom, and I spoke to her on the phone for a long time. She shared with me that she felt that adopting a baby with Xiao would not be the right thing. She said that it would be easy to love a baby, and Xiao would most likely arrive with some challenging behaviors at first. We could be tempted to favor the cute baby over Xiao. She had some other concerns about us adopting this baby along with Xiao. I took everything she said to heart and continued to pray. I wanted so badly to take that cute little baby home as well as Xiao. The answer would come to us even more clearly the next day at church.
We had a few people from our church praying about our decision whether or not to move forward with the baby. With the file being returned the following Wednesday, we really would have had to have everything in by Tuesday. We went to church last Sunday, and I asked a Godly woman whom I respect a lot to pray for us specifically about the baby.
The sermon last Sunday was very fitting for what is happening in our lives right now. We have an incredible pastor, by the way, Pastor Stephen Armstrong, who teaches the Bible verse by verse. His ministry is versebyverseministry.org, and you can listen to his sermons online. We have been studying the book of Judges, and over the past couple of weeks, we have been focusing on the story of Gideon. Most of us think of Gideon as a hero. In reality, Gideon was a typical Israelite of his day–weak in his faith, and not ready to just jump up and follow what God was telling him to do. In this story, so familiar to most believers, God proves over and over His will for Gideon and He confirms for Gideon, in His graciousness, what it is He wants Gideon to do. Yet, Gideon is still unwilling to move forward. He is fearful; he lacks faith in the God who has given him so many signs. Finally, in Judges chapter 7, God tells Gideon to go down to the camp of the Midianites, their formidable enemy, and listen to what they will say. In this incredible story, Gideon goes down to the camp at night, and “happens” to overhear two men talking about the battle. They mention Gideon by name and say that God has given Midian and all the camp into his hand (Judges 7:13-14). There is no explanation for the words these men of Midian speak except that God has put the words in their mouths. Gideon went to just the right tent at just the right moment to hear just the right words he needed to hear in order to give him the confidence he needs to go into the battle God has for him. It is a truly amazing moment, if you think about it. In fact, Gideon is so overwhelmed with the sovereignty of God, with the omnipotence of a God who can orchestrate such details to come together in such a way to convey a message to him, that he bows in worship right then and there (Judges 7:15). And then he goes and takes action.
The sermon that Sunday, based on those events in the book of Judges, was full of encouraging words to obey God, to have faith and take the steps that seem impossible. Without taking the step of faith, you will never see the miracle. Those are words that are so real to me. In my life, I have seen over and over the fruit of living by such faith. I am ready to walk again in faith as we move forward with our adoption of Xiao. As it came together that Sunday, God actually spoke very clearly to us that we were not supposed to adopt the baby along with Xiao. The godly woman I asked to pray that morning came to Todd and said she had been praying fervently for us, and that God had told her that that baby was not our baby. The same day, our pastor told Todd that sometimes obedience means we do not take a certain action, meaning we should not take the baby. That night as Todd shared those things with me, I felt humbled that God would choose to speak so directly and so clearly to us. I felt a little like Gideon at that moment in his story. I sensed that God had spoken directly to us, just as He had sent the words to the men at the Midianite camp for Gideon. I was floored that He would speak so directly to us about what we were to do. I don’t think I have ever heard His voice so directly spoken to us, almost as if He was standing there saying the words Himself. I was so sad for the little baby, that we were not to be his family. I shed tears for him. But I also shed tears of gratefulness that God would direct us so clearly when we needed Him to make it known within a certain time frame. Since we were on such a tight deadline with the baby’s file being returned just a couple days later, we needed to make that decision quickly. I think I would have had a really hard time with it if we hadn’t heard so clearly from God that the answer was no. I was able to let go of the baby with sadness, but with confidence that God had said he was not for us. I am praying for him to find his forever family very, very soon. He is so precious.
As for how I’m feeling now, I am not convinced that God does not want us to adopt another child with Xiao, but I am confident that if He does want us to do so, He will make it abundantly clear. And so that is my prayer now. The need is so great. Yes, we are already taking in one child, and we are doing a big thing just in doing that. But I can’t help but think we should keep our hearts open to taking in another child at the same time. We are so blessed and have so much to give. I know it will drain us quite a bit, but we will be giving life only just to a couple of children when there over a million orphans in this world. I feel it is just a small thing we can do. I will continue to pray up until our dossier is ready to go that if there is another child that we are supposed to adopt at the same time, God will show us as clearly as He showed us that we were not to adopt the baby. I know that God will continue to be faithful, and that He will show us His will. And I am more than confident, I believe with all my heart and soul, that He will equip us and give us everything we need to parent Xiao and any other children He may have for us. He has always been faithful, and I have no reason to doubt His faithfulness now.
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23
A few weeks ago, I posted about doing something “crazy.” I wrote that I felt that God would be calling us soon to do something people would think is crazy, something that might seem foolish or even irresponsible to some. Sometimes, I wrote, God calls us to do the impossible, the unbelievable, the difficult, the stretching, the seemingly irrational, according to human standards. I think Todd and I have lived a little of that for most of our marriage. We kept having kids when almost everyone around us was encouraging us to do the “responsible” thing and stop. We moved out to the country to a raw piece of land with nothing on it, and slowly built our dream, working to be debt-free, and actually achieving that goal through living a bit differently than most Americans choose to live. We didn’t buy new furniture. I have to wait until we have the actual money to do something like put in the tile I want in the addition to our house, instead of just charging it or adding it to the mortgage (since we have no mortgage). I have had a lot of people tell me they couldn’t have the patience that I have with things like these. Well, I confess that sometimes I wish we just did things the American way. I want my tile. I want my finished, beautiful house. I don’t want to wait. Really, I don’t. But the truth is, when you have a conviction about something, you grit your teeth and carry on, even when you really might not feel like it at any given moment. I remember when all the kids were little, sometimes looking around at my growing family and thinking how I would rather be at the beach. But I chose to smile and carry on, because I believed then and I still believe now that this is the life to which God has called me. It isn’t always easy, and it certainly isn’t always perfect, but it’s HIS will for me, and in that I find JOY and peace and the strength to carry on every single day, even when I’m tired and would rather be alone on a deserted beach for a few hours.
So the new “crazy” is here. Todd and I have plenty of children, yes. We have 10; we know. That seems to be “enough” (or “more than enough”) to everyone around us. We have talked about adoption over the years, even with the number of children we had continuing to grow. We felt that someday, adoption might be something we would want to do. This isn’t because we felt we would need more children. No, it is because we know that there are children out there who need us! A few years ago, our oldest daughter presented a speech for competition about the plight of special needs children in “institutions” in Eastern Europe. We couldn’t listen to her give that speech and show those pictures without God nudging our hearts. Could it be that He might call us to take in one of the least of these someday? But the babies kept coming, and it never seemed like the right time. I felt in my heart that someday the time would come, and if and when it did, we would know it was time.
A few weeks ago, a friend posted on Facebook the link to a page about a little boy from China who was here in the States with a host program for five weeks, looking for his forever home. I saw that he had not found a home and would be returning to China in just a couple of days after the last post. Looking at the photos of that sweet boy, my heart broke for him, and I began to cry. I shared the page with Todd, and he responded that he would take him if the government allowed. So, I called the young woman whose family was hosting the little boy, and we spoke on the phone for a while. The next day, they were passing by Austin to head to the airport in Houston to send the boy back to China with the other children from the host program. We decided we wanted to meet this little boy and then pray about what to do. We weren’t sure what would happen. The host family drove out of their way to bring Xiao to our home for dinner that Friday night so we could meet him. He stole our hearts, including every one of the children in our family. Yes, it seemed crazy, but we felt maybe that kind of crazy was what the LORD was asking of us now. This may not make sense to some people. But it makes sense to us, as we follow and listen to God and hear His voice in our lives. The next day, I sent in an application to the adoption agency. We would just see if we would even be approved as a preliminary step. A few days later, we received an email saying we were approved to apply to adopt from China. But this still wasn’t a sure thing. We weren’t really ready to tell people yet, as we still had to go through a more formal application to request to adopt Xiao specifically.
It took us about a week to wrap our heads around just how expensive this was all going to be. It took us about that long to also accept that it was going to be a difficult thing God was calling us to do. We thought about it, and we prayed about it. God spoke to us and said this is the time, and this is the little boy who belongs in our family. Todd said that he felt like he couldn’t imagine having to someday stand before the throne of God and explain how when this precious boy needed a family, he was unwilling. So, about two weeks ago, we signed an agreement with Great Wall China Adoption and wrote a Letter of Intent to apply to lock Xiao in to our application, meaning that he would be officially matched to us, and we would be pursuing him for adoption. Yesterday, just a little over a week later, we received the pre-approval. Now begins the journey of gathering paperwork, getting the home study done, waiting for the final approval, and then traveling to China to get our little boy.
Xiao has some special needs. He has something called Cornelia DeLange Syndrome, which can cause severe mental retardation. However, Xiao does not seem to be severely retarded, although he has some delays. He may have hearing impairment, which had led to his speech delays. He may never speak normally, although he may be able to speak well someday when given the proper medical care, possible hearing aids, speech therapy, etc. We will find out more when we get him here and are able to take him to the right medical professionals.
Will this be easy? Uh, probably not. Will this challenge us? Most certainly it will. Does this mean we should not adopt Xiao? Absolutely not. Even believers were never promised an easy life. God calls us to walk the hard road. Being obedient to His calling won’t always mean a walk in the park. More often than not, it means we will be challenged and need to rely more on HIS strength. Are we being irresponsible? I don’t think so. Yes, we have other children who need us. They are all so excited to love this boy and be his family. There is so much love to go around.
Maybe all of this still sounds crazy to you. I don’t really care. God has called us, and we will follow HIM. My other children will not be neglected. They will see what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I don’t want to live my life in the comfort zone. Believe me, I gave up my comfort zone years ago when I gave up control of my family to Him! Yes, it’s absolutely crazy to think we can raise 10 children well, let alone add a special needs child to the mix. But my God is big enough. I have 10 thriving, happy, amazing children. It’s not really possible for us to take the credit for that. I give GOD alone the glory! Our oldest graduated from high school just a few months ago, homeschooled all the way through. I’m not sure I really believed we would be able to do it, a few years ago. Yet, there she is, away at university. She even graduated with one full year of college credit completed, so she will be able to graduate with her degree in nursing in three years! “My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus!” (Phil 4:19) HE did it! Our daughter is a credit to the Lord, not to Todd and me. We raised her only by HIS strength. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:13)
We have embarked on this journey. We are excited and nervous at the same time. We do not know exactly what the future will be like with our new son. I only look to my God and Father in heaven who is calling us to do this. I trust HIM! I obey HIM! HE will be our strength. Of course, we appreciate your prayers, and we hope you will follow along on our journey. Pray for us, that we will prepare ourselves as best we can in order to love and care for Xiao as he needs. Pray that our other children will thrive as well. Pray that as we live this out, our children will see what it means to step out in faith, and they will be blessed to go and do the same throughout their own lives. We want to say “yes” to God. I want our children to be able to say “yes” to God, too.
Feel free to share this blog with anyone who may be interested in following our story. We covet your prayers. We can’t wait to see this journey unfold. We are excited to see GOD’S strength in our weakness.
And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
As you can imagine, my husband and I are often told we are crazy for living the way we do. We have “tons” of kids. We live on a farm. We live a little differently from most people we know because we are trying to stay debt-free. The list goes on and on. I often reflect on this idea that we are crazy. Sometimes I wonder myself if we really are crazy. The truth is, sometimes I think that as believers, we will be called to do things that the world around us—even fellow Christians—will think are crazy. Todd and I are always learning to not care what others think and to do what we feel called to do, regardless if it makes sense to anyone else.
Lately, I have felt as though God will soon be calling us to do something crazy. We need to move out of our comfort zone and follow Him. Sometimes, we need to be like Abram, when God called him to leave his family and the only home he had ever known, and go to a land God would show him. The blessings that followed Abram’s simple faith and obedience still continues to bless the world today. Think about the blessings we miss out on if we only stay within our comfort zones.
What if what God is calling you to do something that feels absolutely crazy? The timing seems wrong. The finances seem wrong. You just can’t see how the logistics will work out. Instead of just telling yourself that you can’t do it, I want to challenge you today to step out and do whatever you feel He is calling you to do. Take the first steps. They may be baby steps that become bigger steps. God will show you the path. He sees the future. He will take care of all the details. I urge you today to ignore the voices of the doubters in your life. They aren’t the voice of God. The doubters will want you to stay in the comfort zone with them, but God wants you to dive on in and watch Him do His thing. Imagine if Moses had really just gone ahead and turned God down when He told him to go to Pharaoh. This morning, my pastor taught out of the book of Judges about Gideon, the “valiant warrior” who really wasn’t so valiant in the beginning. He made excuses, just like Moses. Anything to not step out of that comfort zone. But Gideon ended up trusting God and taking that leap of faith. He became a hero and watched God win the battle for his people!
Today, think about the something crazy God may be asking you to do, but don’t think too long or hard about it. Take the steps, dive into the deep waters of trusting God, and see how He will work and bless you in it! I will do the same, and let’s compare notes later. I for one don’t want to sit on the sidelines and miss out on the Great Adventure of following God’s will for my life, foolish or crazy as it may sound right now.
But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. 1 Corinthians 2:14
I can’t believe the day is drawing near. The day when my oldest daughter, my little girl (really, she was born just a couple of years ago!), the little ray of sunshine who was the first to call me “Mama,” that little-girl-all-grown-up will be leaving for college in just a few short days. This girl has always wanted to be grown up, ever since her little sister could do anything correctable, my oldest girl wanted to be the adult and call the shots. Well, now the time has come. We have done our job. The bulk of our job—which was to raise a child to adulthood, to be a responsible and positive contributor to society—is finished. I know that our job as parents will never truly be over, but we have raised our first child, and she is ready to fly.
Over the summer, I have struggled with the idea that this girl of mine will be heading out into the big world, away from me and my protection, away from all of her little siblings, off into the great big world where she can do anything, be anything. I really am so excited for her! I will get to see the world anew through the eyes of a young lady who is ready for the biggest adventures that lie ahead of her. But I have struggled. I compare how I’ve felt this summer to how I felt when I was just about ready to give birth: I loved being pregnant, so I wasn’t ready to have that part be over. But as the time drew near and I became more uncomfortable, baby grew so big that I had to stand up in order to roll to the other side at night while I was trying to sleep, I knew that the time was right. The restless nights just before a baby’s birth were preparing me for more restless nights with a tiny newborn who wouldn’t know she was supposed to be sleeping during those dark, quiet hours. Even though my heart wanted to hold onto those sweet moments of pregnancy, I knew that it was time for the baby to enter the world and begin the journey of growing up and leaving the nest. That’s what it’s all about really, even from the beginning. We teach our little chicks all the things they will need to know when they finally leave us some day.
This summer, my vibrant oldest girl has been working, taking three summer classes at the community college, and spending as much time as she can outside of studying, with her friends. Some days I have felt like I have hardly seen her! I have been upset about this, and even hurt, and then I realize, it’s kind of like those long restless nights just before the baby enters the world. I am being prepared for life without seeing this child daily anymore. It’s like Braxton Hicks contractions, preparing my heart for that time when this baby—now a woman—will leave our little nest and fly on.
All these eighteen years of her life, I have poured my heart and soul into teaching my precious girl valuable lessons, things she must know how to do, things she must ponder and learn before heading out into a world full of challenges and confusing messages. Over the summer, I have been thinking about what I would like to tell her. I want to send her off with words written from my heart to hers. I want her to be able to look at these words whenever she needs them and hear my voice, reminding her of all the things I have taught her. So, here it is, what I would like to say as my baby leaves for college.
Dear Abby,
This summer has been preparing me for the day that you head out the door and move on to your big adventure! I have missed seeing you so much every day, and my heart has been forced to grasp the reality that you are all grown up, and the process we began from the beginning—of letting you go, and letting you grow—is now coming to its end as we launch you into the world. I know I’m still your mama, and you will still come to me for advice and to spend time, but this is when everything changes. I am so excited for you, happy for you, even though my heart aches with the marching on of time. I would like to send you off with a few things I want you to remember, words to echo in your mind as you face each adventure and each challenge that is to come.
1. I am proud of you. As a mother, I have always wanted the best for you and from you. Everything I have ever done for you has been because of that truth. Anytime you might have felt that I didn’t approve of something relating to you, it was only because I wanted the very best. Of course, I still do. But the thing to remember is that I am so proud of you. I always have been, and I always will be. God created you unique and special, for such a time as this (Esther 4:14). I have always seen you shine, and my heart has been full of joy at who you are. So, no matter how hard I may push you to try your best and do better in your classes and with all the standards you may feel we as parents have set for you, I am already so proud. When I see you stand up and talk about your faith, bring smiles to your friends’ faces with your vivacious personality and jokes, hug your little brothers, talk intimately with the little sister who looks up to you so much, I am so proud to have such a wonderful young lady as my daughter. There is absolutely nothing you could do to change that. You will always be you, and I am proud to call you my daughter.
2. You are important, and God has a special plan for your life. You are about to go to a very large university where you may at times feel very small. You may feel like no one notices you or cares about you. Just remember that you were created to live in this world and this time, and that there is a story written for you where you play a very important role. The Bible says, “He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6) Your story is unfolding before you, and I can’t wait to see where it leads you. Wherever that may be, you are going to be doing great things.
3. You will always have a place at our table and a bed to come home to sleep in. No matter what your sister may say, we are not moving your bed out the day you leave for college! Whenever you want to come home for a talk, for a weekend, for a month or for a short visit, this will always be home. Wherever my heart is, you can call home. Now, I’m not saying that I don’t want you to grow up and have your own life. I am saying that you will always be at home here. When you are married and have your own children, you will always have a place to come with all those precious ones where you can still feel that unconditional love. And this home will never be the same without you. We will always be so happy to see you, so come back whenever you want.
4. Dream big, and don’t put limits on our BIG God. You are excited, and are about to enter a world of possibilities. Always remember that you will only accomplish as much as you believe you can. When you think ahead into your life, what is it that you hope for and dream about? When I was your age, I had all kinds of big plans for myself. I have always been a dreamer, and sometimes going for my big dreams led me to even bigger things I could never have imagined. You know what? It’s ok to dream and make big plans only to have those dreams and plans change along the way. To dream is to have hope. Hope is what gets us through this life, isn’t it? God is bigger than anything you can imagine. When we doubt or fear, we are really saying we don’t believe He can handle things for us. So always remember our God is the God who can do anything. “Nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:27) Always hold onto this truth, and then hang on tight for the ride! Our limitless God, who sees the big picture, will show you amazing things, but you have to trust Him to do so. You have to step out in faith and believe that He is bigger than any challenge, and your biggest dreams are just the beginning of His big dreams for your life.
5. Remember to always look on the bright side. One of the best things you can do is to stay positive. As a Christian, that means to be joyful. You may not always be in circumstances that make you feel happy and joyful, but you can stay positive and call upon the Lord to give you a joy that isn’t dependent upon what is happening in your life at every moment. Strive to be a person who sees the glass as half full instead of half empty. I have always been an optimist, and it has made life much more joyful for me. There have been many times when I could have gotten down about the challenges and struggles life has thrown at me. But I always have hope and cling to all the little blessings I can find in each moment, small or big. Looking on the bright side, thinking of the positives, even if they seem tiny, will help you handle any challenge you may face. “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (Philippians 4:11)
6. Always stand strong for what you believe. We are now living in a time where moral relativism is definitely the norm. If you have strong convictions, you will be labeled “intolerant” or “fanatic” or many worse things. It can be tempting to just stay quiet, to stop speaking up for what you believe in. Sometimes, given enough time, we can even lose our convictions if we aren’t willing to stand up for them. The truth is, when you stick with your faith and your convictions, often what happens is the naysayers end up wanting to know why you feel so strongly about what you believe, unpopular or unusual as it may seem. When we were in the midst of having more and more babies, we had so many people advise us to just stop and follow the way of the world and do what everyone else was doing. We stood strong and ignored the voices around us, and we have been so blessed because of it. I can’t imagine my life any differently. That is just one example. Numerous times, I have defended my faith and I have seen fruit as people are drawn to someone who is so sure of what she believes. The most important thing is that your reward is in heaven, so no matter what happens, when you stand strong in your faith and convictions, you know that in the end, you win! “He who overcomes will be clothed thus in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life, and I will confess his name before My Father and before His angels.” (Revelation 3:5)
7. Don’t be afraid to take risks. I think you and I both love that country song by Lee Ann Womack, “I Hope You Dance.” I really think it’s a great song. “When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.” That sums up this idea really well. You may be afraid to do certain things for whatever reasons, but don’t let fear hold you back. Step out in faith, even if you are the only one doing so. Close your eyes, jump out of the plane, and sky dive. If you feel called to go to a far away place and help people in need, don’t stop to worry about the “what if,” or even really, the “how.” If you are called to it, those things will fall into place. Step out of your safety zone. There is growth and LIFE off the beaten path. You may feel like the only one doing it, but you will never regret taking those risks and following the path that is laid before you, even if it feels a little dangerous at the time.
8. Stay childlike as long as possible. When I first met your dad, one of his friends said he was a 10-year-old trapped in a 24-year-old’s body. I thought that was so funny, but over the years I have realized this quality was one of the things that drew me to your father. He was a strong, mature man, but had a little twinkle of mischief in those blue eyes that showed he still loved having fun and enjoyed a good joke. Now, 20 years of marriage later, I love that your dad still has those childlike qualities. Another side of being childlike is keeping the ability to be “wowed” by life. When your baby brother sees a kitten or a dog, his little eyes light up and he is full of wonder at the soft fur, the rough tongue, the playful antics. This is the most amazing thing he has ever seen. As we grow up and life gets more difficult to navigate, we can lose this sense of awe at the amazing world around us. So, always have fun and look up from the work at hand long enough to say, “WOW!” What an amazing world we live in, and what beauty surrounds us every day, if only you take the moments to really see it. Finally, remember to have faith like a child. Children are so willing to believe and to trust. It is not hard for them to believe that God can work any miracle. Always strive for and pray for that kind of childlike faith. “”Truly, I tell you , unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of God.” (Matthew 3:18)
9. Remember JOY: Jesus first, then Others, then Yourself. Remember when you were a little girl, and we used to repeat this to you over and over? The truth is, this little acronym is really something to carry with you throughout your entire life. We live in the culture of “ME FIRST.” Sadly, most people who live this way end up unfulfilled and unhappy. Always go to the Lord first when you are faced with anything at all in life where you have to make a decision or choose how you are going to handle something. Put God first in your life, and everything else will fall into place. Serving others is next, because when you take the time to look beyond yourself, that is often when you will feel the most fulfilled. True meaning in life is so often found outside of what we want for ourselves. You do have to take care of yourself, too, but living life only for yourself will lead to dark and lonely places, away from the wonderful things God has in store for you.
10. Do hard things. Walking this life isn’t always easy, especially when you are trying to do the right thing all the time. We were never promised an easy road, though. Sometimes you will be the only one who doesn’t want to watch a certain movie or read a certain popular book. You may be ridiculed or pressured. Don’t let those things force you do take the easy path, or to give in just because everyone else is doing it. Choosing the difficult things sometimes is what will build character and grow you into the beautiful creation you were meant to be. This is a lifelong process. There are many things to tempt you out there in the big world. You’ve already seen some of this, but there is so much more out there. Remember to choose what is excellent, and don’t settle for anything less. “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8)
11. Remember that you will always be my little girl. I finally understand this idea. I guess I’ve always known that to my own mother, even though I moved out decades ago, have a (large) family of my own, and navigate my life quite well on my own, I will always be her little girl. She still worries about me. She still wants to give me good gifts. She still wants the best for me and from me. And I have seen that, to me, she will always be my Mami. She will always be the one I want to call and share good news with. My Mami will always be the one I want to be proud of me. I know that no matter what I do, how I fail, how needy I may become or how independent, in my mother’s eyes, I am just the greatest thing ever. I understand that more now because I have you. You are 18 now. You are on the edge of the cliff, hang glider gripped between sweaty palms, ready to glide into the beauty and adventure that is before you. I am watching and cheering you on as you go. I see you now, this beautiful, grown-up young woman, full of life and promise. I also see you as you were when you were just a toddler, sandy-blond hair framing chubby cheeks and big blue eyes, sucking on your two little fingers. I can’t believe you’re all grown up. The truth is, you will always be my little girl. You can always come sit in my lap, tall as you are, and I will hold you. And, if you want, I will even rub your nose like I used to when you were a little one. Remember this? “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, As long as I’m living, My baby you’ll be.” (Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch)
So, go have great adventures, and I’ll be here, watching, cheering you on, praying for you. I can’t wait to see what God will do in your life. I love you.
Love, Mama
After writing that, I am officially in tears. As I thought about it some more, I decided to include the link to the video and words to the song, “I Hope You Dance” as it goes along nicely with so many of the things I have written in this post. Listening to that song just made the tears flow even more. Enjoy, from my heart to yours.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances, but they’re worth takin’
Lovin’ might be a mistake, but it’s worth makin’
Don’t let some hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin’ out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)
“I Hope You Dance”
Performed by Lee Ann Womack
Written by Tia Sillers and Mark Sanders
I never really expected to write so much on here about spiders. But, hey, I live on a farm in Texas. There are spiders everywhere. And since I introduced my little (make that, huge) morning friend in my last post, I am going to need to finish the story. Before we left on a short vacation last week, I went out to milk the gals, and to my horror, this is what greeted me (please excuse the poor quality of the photo–I didn’t have my camera with me; just my phone):
I have never seen anything quite like it. I couldn’t figure out what had happened. It looked like another gigantic spider had come and attacked Charlotte, and she was hanging there apparently dead. The other spider appeared to be dead as well. It was blowing around in the wind, apparently very lightweight. I stood there for a few minutes, trying to see if there was any life left in either spider, but they were just hanging there, Charlotte’s legs heavy and limp; the invader blowing around in the breeze. I took a shovel, and tried to tap the spider’s web to see if there would be any movement. Nothing moved except the brown spider, as the breeze continued to push it this way and that. Finally, I used the shovel to take down the web, since it seemed that the spider was dead. The lightweight brown spider kind of flew away in the wind, and Charlotte dropped to the ground, where her legs began to move a bit. She was obviously not actually dead, but was on her way out for sure. I tried to pick her up with the shovel (because I sure wasn’t going to touch her with my bare hands), when this little lady came over:
And just like that, Charlotte became part of Chicken Little’s breakfast! Ah, the drama of farm life!
I later did a little research and discovered that my spider was an “argiope aurantia,” also known as the yellow (or black and yellow) garden spider, or a writing spider (so the name “Charlotte” was fitting for her). I also discovered that she was indeed, female. I read that the male argiope aurantia is smaller and brown. I am guessing that the brown spider that was blowing in the wind was the male. After mating, the male of this species dies within 15 minutes, and the female sometimes even eats the male. I don’t know exactly what happened for sure, but I guess that maybe the male fought with Charlotte and she died in the process as well. I wish I had a better picture to add to the internet collection I found, because I didn’t see anything at all like it in my searches. I may still add the photo just because it’s so unique.
All that remains of the web that used to hang above me as I milked my goats are a few stray strands blowing gently in the wind. I can’t say I really miss ducking under that web with it’s rather large occupant, and I certainly don’t miss wondering if she will descend upon my head at any moment while I am milking. But when I see those remaining strands, I think of that monstrous spider every morning. Kind of crazy, but it’s true. Just like the rest of my life!
I’ll leave you with my favorite (and completely unrelated to this post) quote from last week by one of my younger boys. My 8-year-old said to me one afternoon, “Hey, mom, we should go to a spa today! Because, sometimes I just want to relax!” Yeah, me too, buddy. Me, too.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Hey, y’all, it’s summer. The word “routine” has a very loose meaning around here during the weeks of summer. There are, however, a few things that normally take place for me each morning.
First off, I wake up before everyone else in the house. I may not really enjoy doing this all the time, actually. But I discovered during my fourth pregnancy that it really did help me to drag myself out of bed at least an hour before everyone else so I could enjoy a little quiet time, exercise, get ready for the day, and have my morning coffee before the masses made their appearance. Before this discovery, I could be found on any given morning being jolted from my sleep by three rambunctious, ravenous little people all saying, “Mama!!!!! Mama!!!! What’s for breakfaaaaaast???” at the same time. I would stumble down the steps in my pajamas, glasses on, and try to search my foggy mind for the answer to that terribly difficult question. I had a Master’s Degree from Stanford University, and the question of “What’s for breakfast?” repeatedly left me with a deep, dark, black hole in the brain. Usually during those days, the answer was: OATMEAL! Ahh, those were the days when a daily dose of lumpy oats served simply with brown sugar and milk was good enough to satisfy those starving little bellies. Fast forward 14 years, and this is not so simple anymore. Thankfully, I have figured out the art of menu planning, so my brain no longer has to come up with the answer to “what’s for breakfast?”.
Back to my routine. These days, with teenagers in the house, we usually have to wake the masses. During this summer, I haven’t been doing that at all (shh..don’t tell anyone). I let them trickle into the kitchen as they wake up on their own. This can mean our kitchen is never clean until after lunch, but it’s summer and that’s ok. So, before they begin trickling in, I wake up and exercise. I have been running three times per week, and doing some sort of strength training three times per week, with one day off. After this, I have my coffee and quiet time in God’s Word, usually alone, occasionally with my 3-year-old little guy by my side (he is our current resident early riser).
This is when things get more interesting. We have three dairy goats (Nubians). Two of them had kids a couple of months ago, so now my morning routine involves wrestling with those feisty gals in order to acquire liquid gold for the baby of the family, our 14-month-old boy. He loves this stuff, and it makes up a significant part of his diet right now. His little tummy tolerates our raw goat milk way better than cow’s milk! And his chubby little cheeks and very round belly attest to the fact that it is doing a good job of nourishing him. So, I trudge out to the goat yard each morning, grab a flake of alfalfa, two scoops of homemixed goat feed, and head out to wrangle Charlie and Dolly. This can be a somewhat soothing (uh, once the wrangling part is through), as the soft cool morning breeze wafts around me, and the sounds of the farmyard serenade me. Chickens cluck, ducks quack, dogs bark in the distance. It can be quite beautiful. Then Charlie kicks a little with her hind legs and almost ruins the whole bucket of milk I have worked so hard to get! Dolly is pretty good till the food runs out and she begins to kick with both hind legs. That little gal is younger and more athletic and can actually put all her weight in her front legs and kick with both legs at the same time. She has amost knocked the whole milking stand over doing this. I have it down to a science now, though. I hold the bucket in my left hand, and milk with my right, so I am able to quickly pull the bucket away when I sense the kick coming. It must look prett amusing, but thankfully there is no one there to watch me but the chickens and the other goats. And the gigantic spider that has taken up residence in the goat house….
Eek! This creature is really huge. I’m not sure you can tell from this picture just how huge it is. For the last week or so, as I milk I can feel all 8 of its eyes staring at me from above. You may be wondering why I haven’t just squished this thing. I haven’t killed it, well, because….Charlotte. And Wilbur. Not to mention that I estimate there to be about 50 gazillion flies out by our animals at the moment, and Charlotte here could help reduce that number by at least 2 or 3 per day. That’s a big dent there. I could be a tad squeamish about the actual process of killing such a large spider, too, maybe. But really it’s mostly about Charlotte. Spiders really are very fascinating creatures. We had a spider just like this one spin a web right outside our kitchen window a few years ago, and I created an entire science unit around that baby (confessions of a homeschool mom). We watched her catch everything from flies to large grasshoppers, wrap them up, eat them, and cut them out of her web to drop to the ground below. Spiders like their webs to be tidy, unlike my children. At the end of our spectacular spider unit, she even left us a substantial egg sack just to the side of the window. It was truly a gift. But I digress from my morning routine.
Once I have procured the liquid gold from my not-so-cooperative morning compadres, ducking so as to not plant my face right in the middle of Charlotte’s web (eek!), I head to the chicken coop, collect the eggs and head on back to the house where things are usually still pretty quiet. I filter the milk, put it in the fridge, and put away the eggs. By now, usually littlest bit is awake and ready for some of that yummy milk I worked so hard to get for him. And…we are off and running! Read alouds, catching up on unfinished math lessons, errands, summer camps, music lessons, attempts at organizing and taming the monster that is our home right now are the things that fill our days this summer. I am thankful for each little busy thing. Every one means my home and heart are full. It’s a good life.
Well, there you have it: a little glimpse into my basic morning routine. Anything can change on a given morning, but this is a general idea of what my mornings usually contain right now. When school begins in a few short weeks (*sniff*), this routine will change significantly. This is it for now. It’s busy, full and sweet in many ways, even the spider. I’m hoping to get the kids out there to watch her with me soon. Hopefully, I won’t regret leaving her there and find that someday she decides to just come on down and jump on my head while I’m milking. That just might disturb the peace of the farmyard a little bit.
“The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:23-24
I’m so excited to be launching my official new blog, embracingabundantlife.com! Here, I plan to do a number of things, primarily write about the things that I love: my life with my wonderful husband; my many awesome, crazy children; homeschooling; cooking; reading; and learning new things. I plan to share my life, and offer glimpses into what is really an imperfect mess most of the time! The reality is that my life is chaotic! But it is full of ABUNDANT LIFE! And I love this life! It inspires me to be a better person for my husband, for my precious children, and for the people around me who are watching and hoping to learn something from me (and my mostly fumbling ways). I will always share openly, because this abundant life isn’t perfect; just as I myself am far from perfect. In this blog, as on my old blog at embracingabundantlife.blogspot.com, I hope to share more recipes that work for my large family in ways that will help feed any size family. I will share bulk cooking ideas for busy moms like myself, along with menus and grocery lists. I plan to also include product reviews of things that have made my life easier and also things that I frankly think are a waste of money. We are pretty frugal around here at Abundant Life Ranch (our humble little homestead), so I hope to pass along some of the things we do to save money as well. All in all, this blog will be here as a way for me to share our life as a large family (people are always asking me how I do it, and you will get to read about some of that up close and personal and always REAL), hopefully inspire others as we all strive to embrace the crazy lives we have been given, and also to share practical things that help me as I run our busy household. And let me tell you, those things are always evolving. I am anything but Susie Homemaker, and that is OK! I’m blundering through life like everyone else, only with more little people watching me than most others have watching them! So, welcome, and enjoy as I begin to build this place and hopefully inspire you along the way.
Mothering, homeschoolling, farm life, budgeting, cooking for a large family
est thing ever. I understand that more now because I have you. You are 18 now. You are on the edge of the cliff, hang glider gripped between sweaty palms, ready to glide into the beauty and adventure that is before you. I am watching and cheering you on as you go. I see you now, this beautiful, grown-up young woman, full of life and promise. I also see you as you were when you were just a toddler, sandy-blond hair framing chubby cheeks and big blue eyes, sucking on your two little fingers. I can’t believe you’re all grown up. The truth is, you will always be my little girl. You can always come sit in my lap, tall as you are, and I will hold you. And, if you want, I will even rub your nose like I used to when you were a little one. Remember this? “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, As long as I’m living, My baby you’ll be.” (
