She was 4 years old. Blue eyes sparkling with pride as the wind blew her golden hair gently back. She was watching her daddy water ski for the first time in her life. He was an experienced water skier, and looked strong out there that day. “Go, Daddy!” she shrieked with joy, bouncing along as the boat hit some waves. Suddenly, big strong daddy hit a large wave and went down under the water. Abby screamed in terror, crying, “No!! Daddy!! Daddy!!” Distraught, she thought he was badly hurt or worse, and she could not be comforted until the boat turned around and she could see him floating and waving his arms to show he was OK. When he climbed back into the boat, she was still sniffling and softly crying, not completely recovered from the thought that something terrible had happened to her daddy.

It was at that moment that I realized what a special bond there can be between a little girl and her daddy. I had seen it before. We had two other young daughters and a son as well. There came a time when each little girl became especially enamored with the man in their lives. Sure, they loved me, too, but Daddy was the center of their worlds. This oldest daughter of ours, Abigail, was especially sensitive and had been a daddy’s girl almost from the very beginning of life as a newborn. By the age of 4 months or so, she gave her best smiles and what few snuggles there were to be had from her independent, on-the-go personality, to Daddy. I knew she loved me, too, but that day on the boat, as I saw how crushed Abby had been to think that her Daddy had been hurt, I quietly prayed that God would give Todd a long life and that he would allow him to be there for the children as they grew up. It really struck me just how much my little girl loved her daddy.

Fast forward 17 years, and Abby was working as a nurse in the ICU at a hospital in North Austin. September 10th, 2018 was a normal day just like any other Monday. We had done school, gone to martial arts and then on to speech, physical and occupational therapy for our two special needs girls. We had just gotten home for the afternoon. A friend and fellow homeschool mom had just arrived for a rare weekday afternoon playdate for the kids/school planning time for the moms. We were just about to settle in with our coffee and school books to plan a unit study together while the children played. I looked at my phone and noticed a text message from Todd.

It said, “Don’t freak out but I’m at the hospital getting checked out because I’m having chest pains.”

I hardly ever see texts during our busy school days, so I was surprised Todd would not have called instead of texting if he really thought he was having a heart attack. He said he was at the little hospital near our house, which isn’t really where you go if you really think you’re having a heart attack. I was processing this and saying to my friend that he surely he wouldn’t have texted me if he thought he actually be having a heart attack when a call came in from Todd’s cell phone.

I answered immediately and was greeted by a female voice saying, “Mrs. Erdner? I’m a nurse at Seton SW Hospital. Don’t worry, but we believe your husband is having a heart attack.” Don’t worry??!!

“Where is Todd? Why can’t he talk to me,” I shouted at the nurse.

Then I heard Todd’s voice in the background reassuring me that he was fine and not to worry. I must admit that it was not easy to NOT worry when the nurse told me I needed to get in the car right away and head to the main hospital downtown where they were transporting Todd by ambulance. By the grace of God, since my friend was there and offered to watch my children, I was able to just grab my purse and literally run out of the house to get to the hospital.

While I was on the way to the hospital, I called our children who weren’t home at that time to let them know what was going on. I called Abby first. Her reaction took me right back to that day on the lake when she was four years old. She was immediately hysterical, so much so that I told her she shouldn’t try to drive herself to the hospital to meet me there. I had been hanging onto the nurse’s words not to worry, but hearing my ICU nurse daughter freak out like she did made me panic. Thankfully, Abby’s roommate was able to drive her to the hospital. They actually made it to the hospital before I did, and as Todd was wheeled into the operating room where the cardiologist would put in the stent, she was able to tell him over and over how much she loved him (which Todd later related made him worry a little more than he had before). I also called our oldest son, whom we had just dropped of at Texas A&M for his freshman year of college a couple of weeks before. Nina and Enoch were at a class and were able to leave immediately to go home and watch their younger siblings. Datiya, our second oldest, was at Texas State and able to get home right away as well.

Abby and I waited in the waiting area, and after a while, the cardiologist emerged and informed us that Todd had had a 95% blockage in his LAD artery. I later found out that this type of blockage is called a “widowmaker” heart attack. The doctor also explained that Todd’s blood had been very thick and there had been small clots throughout his heart and arteries. They were able to administer blood thinners and open things back up as well as put in the stent. The doctor said he was very lucky to have made it in for surgery so quickly. The damage to his heart would be very minimal. We were all very relieved, but in the back of my mind, I wondered what had caused the hypercoagulation (excess blood clotting). He would have to see a hematologist to get more answers, but no one was too worried about that at the time.

After a few days, Todd was able to return home, and all of the children were so excited to see him. Most of the younger children really didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation. We wouldn’t know the results of Todd’s blood tests for a few days, so of course I spent hours on the internet searching for possible causes of hypercoagulation . What I found was scary for the most part, except for a couple of things that didn’t sound great but could at least be managed fairly easily. I prayed for peace and also for it to be one of the lesser evils. At the visit with the hematologist, we discovered that Todd’s condition was indeed one of the lesser evils, though it still sounded grim to hear. Todd was diagnosed with polycythemia vera, which is a form of blood cancer where the bone marrow makes too many red blood cells, causing the blood to thicken. This disease has no cure, but is usually manageable by having regular blood draws (when I read about this “bloodletting” before receiving his diagnosis, I thought it sounded very medieval), just like donating blood. Of course, this blood would be discarded because the mutation in his gene makes it faulty and not able to be donated. At the time, the doctor said that he might need to take medication eventually to control the condition, but that it probably wouldn’t be necessary.

There is so much more that has happened in the last couple of years since Todd had his heart attack. I will definitely continue the story. I’ve wanted to tell it for so long, but it has taken a while for me to be able to really put it down in writing. Life is so short and there are no guarantees of health, wealth, comfort, or even life itself. To end this post, I’ll simply share a few things I learned at the time of Todd’s heart attack.

I am married to a great man. He isn’t president of his company, nor has he climbed the corporate ladder as he could have if he had made different choices in life. However, he is a faithful and loving husband, a wonderful father, a respected elder/leader in our church, and a loyal and valued friend to many. His colleagues at work respect him and enjoy working for him. He truly cares about them and their families. We had so many friends visit the hospital during that time, and many more friends and coworkers both near and far either called or sent emails to let him know they were thinking about and praying for him. This man is adored by his children. Every single one of them feels loved, valued, heard, encouraged by him. This is not easy to do with 13 children, but he makes it happen. I could write a book about this wonderful man. I have grown in my walk with God because of him. We have challenged one another and matured so much in our marriage over the years. The heart attack just reminded me of the magnitude of this man’s impact on so many people’s lives. It was a wake up call for sure, but one that made me remember to be thankful for him each day we are granted.

I learned that anything can happen when you least expect it. Of course, most people know this, but it is easy to coast through life when things are going well and think that “these things” happen to other people. Maybe it’s our way of coping with the fact that none of us are immune to the brokenness and pain that is in this fallen world. Todd was fit and healthy–not someone who should be at risk for having a heart attack. Again, just a reminder to live each day to the fullest, to push aside the unimportant and invest time in what really matters because we never know when our time will come.

I learned to say “yes” to accepting help from others. So many people from the various communities and activities in which we are involved came forward to help us with the kids, driving to lessons and practices, and making meals. My first instinct was to say “no” because I wasn’t the one who had had the heart attack. I was fine. I could still do everything I had been doing. I almost didn’t let my friends set up a meal calendar for us because it felt silly to me since I could still cook, etc. Several friends urged me to just take the meals and the help and focus on taking care of Todd. We had one month solid of daily meals brought to our family with love. I can’t truly describe how it felt to receive the help. It went beyond just not having to prep food for this clan; it actually helped me realize that I did need to recover from this experience as well. Emotionally, I had been through a lot, and we were just embarking on this journey of living with a chronic condition that would have to be monitored and controlled for the rest of Todd’s life. I needed to let people help me and love our family, and I am so glad that I did. I learned a lot about receiving with joy and grace. It definitely is easier for me to give than to receive. A few times different people offered to drive the children to their activities, and that was also a really wonderful relief, simple as it seems. As a side note, it was so fun to see all the friends who provided meals for us–from church family, Todd’s work, our wonderful Kuk Sool Won (martial arts) family, and other friends. What a true blessing to feel so loved and cared for.

Finally, the most important thing I learned came from what Todd shared with me after his surgery while he was recovering. He said that that day as he was experiencing an event that could have ended his life, when he thought he might not actually live, he could look back at his life with no regrets. He felt like he had invested in the right things. We had a strong, solid marriage full of love, life, and adventure. He had spent time prioritizing his children, spending time with them and developing close relationships with each one. He was strong in his walk with God and had served, given and shared his faith. Praise God, he felt that if God had wanted to take him that day, he would have been ready with no regrets. It made me pause and wonder if I could say the same. How many of us could truly say the same?

May we live our lives to the fullest! You never know how long you have as any day could be your last! Invest time in the things that matter, love those around you, serve people, fight for what is true and right. Put others first and spend less time worrying about yourself and vain things. Move forward with intention and purpose!

And He told them a parable saying, “The land of a rich man was very productive. And he began reasoning to himself, saying, “What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?” Then he said, “This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink, and be merry. ‘ But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?’ So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God. Luke 12:16-21

So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12