We pray that you all had a beautiful Christmas. There is so much hope this time of year, and the light and warmth of the season remind us of our only true HOPE — that Jesus Christ was born to live and die and rise again so we could live with Him forever in eternity. We cling to the HOPE that this brings, no matter how chaotic things in this world may be.
We missed getting a Christmas letter out last year, and this year has been very full as well, especially with the wedding of our oldest son, David, just a couple of days before Christmas, so I’ll do my best to write brief updates on how everyone is doing. (This pic is from last year, when we had a very Erdner leaning Christmas tree).
Abby (25) is thriving as an ICU nurse working in the Dallas area. She broke her wrist snowboarding on our family ski trip in February, so she coudn’t work for 6 weeks. This was no fun, of course, but she had enough money saved to survive on and she was able to take a 2-week trip to Europe during that time, so I guess she couldn’t really complain about that. She also got very good at applying makeup with her left hand, so that is a bonus. Once she returned to work after the wrist injury healed, she decided to apply to CRNA school to become a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist. Hopefully, she will be hearing soon what school(s) she gets into. We are very proud of all that Abby has been able to accomplish and what a wonderful, compassionate nurse she is.
Datiya (24) had an eventful 2021. She got engaged January of 2021, and she and Luis were married on November 21, 2021. It was a beautiful, meaningful wedding, and Todd was the officiant, having the pleasure of doing the ceremony and giving a message. Everyone is ecstatic at the addition of a new son to our family. We love Luis–he is a fun, energetic, driven and very loving young man. He adores our Datiya and is a wonderful husband. We are so excited to see what the future holds for their lives together. They live in Las Colinas (Dallas/Ft Worth). Datiya is working at a mental health hospital where she was formerly a recreation therapist and recently got a new job as the Director of Recreation Therapy. Luis works in parks and recreation for the city of Addison. He was awarded Employee of the Year for 2022! We are so happy to see this young couple thriving in their married life.
David (22) is now the loudest proudest alumnus of Texas A&M as he graduated in mid-May. David landed a job working for Capital One in Plano (Dallas area– I am not really loving this trend of all the kids ending up in Dallas, but at least it’s only a few hours away). In even more exciting news, David proposed to his beautiful, talented wife, Alexandra (Alex) in February. Alex graduated December 16th, and the beautiful couple were married on December 22nd! Todd had the pleasure of officating their ceremony as well. They just got back from their honeymoon in Hawaii, and moved into their new apartment in the Dallas area. We are so happy to have added such a sweet and lovely daughter-in-law to our growing family. It was honestly one of the sweetest and most beautiful weddings I have ever seen.
Nina (21) graduated from the Honors program with a degree in Kinesiology, minoring in Biology and Spanish, on December 16th. She has worked so hard, graduating from high school a year early, starting at Texas Tech January of 2020 and graduating Magna Cum Laude only 3 years later. Nina also worked to become a Certified Personal Trainer, and she moved back to Austin after graduation to work as a CPT. She plans to apply to graduate programs in a year or so, after a well-deserved break from studies. I am really excited to have this young lady back home so we can spend lots of mother-daughter time together. Nina is dating Connor, who is in Physician’s Assistant school at Texas Tech’s PA school in Midland.
Enoch (19) graduated from high school in May. He has had the unique opportunity to work for our church managing the event venue the church owns. Enoch is learning so much, and this position is perfect for his personality. He is charismatic and funny, and everyone loves him. Enoch is taking classes at ACC to get his associate’s degree in business. He keeps very busy between the venue and hanging out with his many friends and his sweet girlfriend, Anna. We are so proud of the young man he is becoming.
Lillah (17) is a senior in high school. She is so busy with work, school (homeschool and community college classes) working at the barn and riding her horses. Lillah is competing for her final year in speech and debate this year, and she is looking forward to taking a gap year next year while she works and tries to figure out what she wants to study in college (and hangs out with mom). Lillah is a sweet, funny young lady, and she has many talents. We can’t wait to see where God leads her in the coming months.
Simeon (15) is a sophomore in high school. He is taking a couple of classes at One Day Academy and competing in speech and debate. Simeon is also in a weekly homeschool class for guys at a nearby church, and he has grown tremendously in his faith through this program. He switched to a new select soccer league and is loving the team he is on. It is a group of very talented soccer players, and Simeon really enjoys the challenge. If you ever need prayer, Simeon is your guy – he is very serious about his faith, and he takes prayer very seriously too. He is also very musical, can play pretty much anything on the piano, and has picked up guitar as well. We love Simeon’s sweet and fun personality.
Jed is our 13-year-old resident comedian. He is quick-witted and funny, which of course can get him in trouble at times. He is in the 7th grade, competing in speech and debate, and also in the same homeschool discipleship program as Simeon attends on Wednesdays. He is also really maturing and growing in his faith through being a part of the School of Champions. Jed is in both of the classes I teach at One Day Academy, and he certainly keeps it entertaining. Jed also switched to a new select soccer team, so he is enjoying the challenge of a team that pushes his skill level. Jed is the second Erdner boy to take up drumming (Enoch also plays the drums), and he is a wild man on the drums, getting more and more skilled. Jed can be a handful at times, but we know that God has big plans for his big personality. He has a sweet heart, and always the best of intentions. We are so blessed to see this comical kid maturing into a Godly young man, and we know God will channel all that energy to do His will and minister to others.
Hezi (11) knows more about history and random scientific and historical facts than most adults I know. He is obsessed with history, memorized all the presidents in order this year, and is constantly reading and adding to his knowledge base. I enrolled him in a robotics class after school at the local elementary school this past year, and every week he would get in the car after the class and tell me how he altered whatever design they were given that day to make it better or more interesting. Hezi is very social, but he is also content to play alone for hours, creating battle scenes with his army guys or playing in the sandbox making cities with rivers running through them. Hezi has enjoyed all the weddings in the family as he loves to dance, eat good food, and socialize with all his older siblings’ friends, wowing them with his knowledge of various topics. He is a sweet guy, and it is amazing to see the young man he is becoming.
Tovi is 8 and the most determined little boy. He is really talented at a lot of things, but he also works very hard and practices to accomplish his goals. He recently mastered doing a standing back flip after practicing over and over. Tovi works very hard at most things he does. He might complain about certain school subjects, but he always completes his work with excelllence. Tovi is a very social little boy, always looking for opportunities to play with friends. He is athletic, excelling at many sports, and if he’s not good at it to begin with, he will practice, practice, practice until he masters it. He is getting quite good on the piano as well. Tovi is such a sweet little guy, and we love watching him grow and learn. It’s fun still having relatively young kids at home.
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Eden and Haddie both turned 19 this year, which is very hard to believe. They are so sweet and helpful, and love to do chores around the house. Whenever we are having guests over, these two young ladies are eager to help me get the house straightened up and ready. They both graduated from occupational therapy this year and Eden finished speech therapy. They are both so happy to be part of our big crazy family, and we are so blessed that God brought them to us 6 years ago!
Daniel is 15 and was moved up to the 8th grade at the local middle school. He continues to love his bus rides to and from school, and he loves all the structure and interaction he gets at the school. When school is not in session, Daniel gets quite upset, as he is very social and loves to meet new people. He does continue to have a lot of behavioral issues that challenge us greatly. He’s so charming, however, that it balances out the challenging behaviors. He has won over many hearts with that cute, dimpled smile and funny antics.
Todd switched to a new position at Intel that is more in line with his expertise and management skills. He is still able to work from home pretty much full time, which is so nice. He is really happy in this new position. Todd is also very involved in church leadership as an elder. I am homeschooling the kids and I also started teaching an Intro to Speech, Debate, and Mock Trial class as well as a Competitive Speech class at One Day Academy (homeschool classes). I am still teaching Les Mills Body Pump and Body Combat classes Mondays -Thursdays at 6am. If you’re in the Austin area and like to work out early in the morning, come check out my classes! I’m leading a women’s Bible study at our church, and I also enjoy singing with the worship team. We love the life we have built here with our family on our little ranch in the heart of Texas. God has truly blessed us, and we are very grateful.
Furry friend department: We’ve added some fun farm friends this year, so below are a few photos of the new additions. Not pictured are the three goats, two horses, two rabbits, several more chickens, a few other cats and our dog, Hazel. These are just the new additions from 2022. We don’t call it Abundant Life Ranch for nothing! There is certainly a lot of life around here, and we pray this place blesses everyone who comes to it with abundant life spiritually as well. (John 10:10 is our theme verse: “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”)
We pray that you all find many blessings in the new year, and if you find yourself near the Driftwood, TX area, come visit us!
Blessings from,
Todd, Michelle, Abby, Datiya & Luis, David & Alex, Nina, Enoch, Lillah, Simeon, Jedidiah, Hezekiah, Toviel, Eden, Daniel and Haddie
We got our llama, Joker, this spring. Then we got him a girlfriend, Harley Quinn. We got three sweet little miniature donkeys this summer.Our cat has had a few kittens this year! favorite.Kitties snugglingTiny kittiesThis chicken and duck were raised together from when they were chicks, separate from the rest of the flock, and they are BFFs. I’ve never seen anything like it! They follow each other around all day and even sleep near each other. It’s so cute.
After the busy holiday season, it’s time to sit down and reflect on 2020. I know 2020 was full of challenging circumstances and heartbreak for so many of our friends and family. We pray that this Christmas, no matter what 2020 brought, you were blessed by the wonder of the Child born to bear the sins of all the world. We, as a family, have so much to be thankful for. Even though Covid brought some separation and challenges for us, overall, we have remained healthy and employed, and for that we praise God. Here is a little rundown with a few details about what everyone is up to or into these days.
Abby, 23, left St. David’s North Austin Medical Center in April to become a travel nurse in Southern California. She is an ICU nurse, so her knowledge and skills have been put to good use as she works with Covid patients there. Abby has been working at a hospital in Santa Monica, and they love her so much that they offered her a permanent job there, but she wants to continue travel nursing. She will be at that hospital until March, when her year is up and she needs to find a new place to go. Abby loves living in Southern California, within walking distance of the beach, but she does miss Texas and her crazy family here. We enjoyed having her home for 3 weeks during the holidays.
Datiya, 21, graduated from Texas State in December 2020 summa cum laude with a degree in Recreation Therapy. She passed her exam and is now a Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist (CTRS). Datiya completed her internship at a psychiatric hospital in Dallas, and she has been offered a full-time position to continue working there. Datiya is excited to get her own apartment and begin life after college.
David is 20 and thriving as the loudest, proudest member of the Texas A&M Aggies. He is a junior majoring in computer engineering. We enjoyed having David home for most of the spring and all summer. He was an intern at Intel again this summer, and worked at a desk in our home right next to Todd (like 1 foot apart) all summer, which they both enjoyed. Todd roped David into joining his workouts a couple of times per week. David just ordered his Aggie ring, which is a big deal for any Aggie. He has also secured an internship for this summer working for a bank.
Nina just turned 19, and she is a hard-working Texas Tech Red Raider! Nina is technically a sophomore, but she is on track to graduate early, majoring in Kinesiology with a minor in Spanish. Nina is still trying to decide what she wants to do in the future, but she is planning to either go to medical school, or possibly graduate school to become a PA (physician’s assistant). Nina has been very busy during her break working and shadowing a doctor and a PA in Dripping Springs. She worked really hard Fall semester to earn a 4.0 GPA.
Haddie just had her 18th birthday. She was so excited! Haddie is still making progress learning how to use her AAC device to communicate verbally. She was able to tell me what she wanted for birthday breakfast (pancakes), birthday dinner (enchiladas and corn casserole), and what gifts she wanted (a dress and pants). It is really huge for her to be able to communicate that! Haddie continues to live up to her nickname, “Happy Haddie,” as she is always smiling and laughing. She enjoys speech and occupational therapy and learning at home with mom. Haddie is great with kids, and Tovi adores her. She can often be found outside on the porch swing watching the boys play soccer or jumping on the trampoline with Tovi or Eden. Haddie loves to color and draw, and bestows her works of art upon everyone around her with great regularity.
Eden ia 17 and still our chatty girl. She loves to be in the middle of the action, and has many questions about everything that is going on around her. Eden is steadily making progress through math and still learning to read. She can read easy readers with a little help now, and is learning to read and follow recipes. She and Haddie make a great team and are both very hepful around the house, Eden always works hard in school and she loves doing her speech and occupational therapy via an online platform. Her new favorite game is Sorry, and she can often be found racing around the board with Tovi and Haddie playing ‘the game of sweet revenge” as Tovi likes to call it.
Enoch is 17 years old, and a junior in high school. He is playing soccer on a select team and doing well with that. Enoch began taking some classes at Austin Community College this fall and aced his two classes there. He is taking a combination of classes at One Day Academy, home, and through a weekly academic and discipleship group called School of Champions. Enoch will compete in Lincoln Douglas debate as well as a couple of speech categories. At this point the speech and debate tournaments will be online. Enoch works at TCBY and has gotten some experience working with our family’s mechanic.
Lillah is 15, and so ready to turn 16 in April so she can get her driver’s license. For now, she is sticking to terrorizing her parents as she learns the ropes of driving with her learner’s permit. Hopefully, we will all survive, and by April she will be an expert driver. Lillah is in 10th grade, getting perfect scores in Chemistry at One Day Academy as well as taking a combination of other classes through ODA, home, and School of Champions. She was thrilled to be assistant construction manager, architect and worker building a beautiful barn where her horses can stay in luxury and health. These days, if she isn’t reading in her chosen spot at the kitchen bar, she can be found hanging out with her horses in their snazzy new barn (check out the pictures at the end of this post).
Daniel is 13 and in the 5th grade at Sycamore Springs Elementary School. He is doing remote learning this year so far, and it has proven to be a huge blessing for us. I don’t know what it is–maybe being around more during the day, or maybe the fact that I’m more involved in his schooling and I’m involved in rewarding him directly, but the remote learning seems to have opened a new door for Daniel in bonding with us as a family, and especailly with me as his mom. He is a whiz on his new AAC device (as of last spring), and often puts words together to form interesting and unique thoughts that show us what he is thinking! Daniel is funny and loves getting laughs out of people. He is very social, and enjoys waving at all his friends on the class Zoom calls. He will now use his device to say, “Mom, I love you,” which makes me want to cry. We’ve come a long way in 4 1/2 years.
Simeon is 13th and in the 8th grade. He can usually be found playing soccer outside with his brothers (our youngest 4 boys make up what I like to call the “boy sQUAD”) or riding the ATV or new dirt bike the boys got for Christmas this year. Simeon continues to be very acrobatic, and has fine-tuned his back-flipping abilities. This guy is also an excellent student, very diligent to complete his work and do his best. He is doing some school at home and some through School of Champions, which he loves. Simeon is competing in Team Policy debate and speech this year, and we are trying to figure out the new online competition forum. Simeon also loves to pray, so he and Todd go on runs together every week during which they spend a lot of time praying for friends and family. We are encouraged to see him reading his Bible every day, and often I’ve seen him leading his younger brothers in a little Bible study before bed (all his idea). He is finally outgrowing mom as of the writing of this letter.
Jedidiah (Jed) turned 11 in September. He is our resident cat lover, so he wanted his picture to have one of our kittens in it. Jed and Simeon have gotten into hunting the last couple of years, and they both got two decent sized bucks this deer season. They will enthusiastically eat anything I make with the venison they bring home for us. Jed continues to be a witty, energetic kid, often making us laugh with his comments or stories. Jed loves playing soccer with his brothers and looks up to Simeon, aka his best buddy, a lot. Jed is in 5th grade, and I’m very glad we homeschool him so he can be kept interested with lots of hands on projects. He enjoyed learning about the 50 states and capitals and he created some interesting videos about some presidents for our presidents and elections unit. Although he was disappointed that he couldn’t play baseball as planned last spring, he knows he is very blessed to have so many brothers to play sports with at home.
Excuse me while I just…can’t with this photo of our (not-so) little Hezekiah (Hezi) who just turned 9 in November! Look at him! OK, but he’s more than just the precious blond curls and big brown eyes. Hezi is a very sweet, loving boy. He will generously give gifts to everyone on birthdays and Christmas out of his own belongings or if he has the money, he will buy something. It’s the cutest thing. He loves building with Legos, playing soccer and football with his built-in BFFs (his brothers), and learning random facts to share with everyone. Hezi got so into our unit studies on the US and presidents that he would read extra books and watch little videos on YouTube to learn more. Then when we would be talking about something, he would chime in with his amazing knowledge about it all. He recently played a role in our family’s winning of a Zoom Jeopardy game with extended family.
Toviel (Tovi) is 6, and growing up way too fast. He is bright, capable and determined. Tovi is whizzing through 1st grade, easily completing his school work every day, and reading far above grade level. He is athletic, and as the youngest member of the boy sQUAD, holds his own out there on the family soccer/football/baseball field. Tovi is competitive, and still remains very driven and determined to learn and keep up with the older members of the boy sQUAD. He very often wins Ticket to Ride (Jr), Battleship, and Sorry, and he is very good at negotiating with Eden and Haddie to get them to play games with him. Tovi is a delight to everyone in our family, constantly saying adorable, precocious things and charming us all with his winsome smile. It is so dang hard not to spoil him. It doesn’t help that he loves his mama, and will just randomly come up and give the best, sweet hugs and kisses. I am always praying that he will grow up humble, kind, and a man after God’s own heart. I pray similar things for my other boys and the girls, too, of course (women after God’s own heart :)).
Todd and I are doing well. Covid-19 brought fear and hardship for our country, and uncertainty for so many people, and it also brought our children all home for months! Abby was the only member of our family who wasn’t at home for an extended period of time through the spring and summer. Todd and I have really enjoyed the slower pace of life and the extra time with our older children home. Todd has been working from home (still at Intel), and he has used the extra time at home, not having to drive children to and from sports, etc., to tackle large projects around the house and property.
Todd on the phone with “the Banker” playing “Deal or no Deal” with the kids on Christmas Eve.
Since we had most of the older children home (aka free labor), Todd decided to pave the circle on our driveway. Pretty much everyone got in on the fun (er, work), even some helpful and useful boyfriends. After trying his hand at pouring concrete for the driveway, Todd decided to build a barn for our animals. Lillah had been dreaming of and drawing designs for a barn for literally years, and she was the architect/designer of the project. She and Todd bonded over every aspect of building the barn, and all hands were on deck from the beginning — building up the ground for the foundation–to the end–roof and painting, and everything in between. This has been a huge project, and Todd led the crew (aka, our family) in every stage from foundation to the roof. We did not hire subcontractors for any aspect of the project. The only outside people were the guys who drive the concrete trucks and poured it out. It turned out beautifully! Todd continues to be the best dad ever, and I just had to include this picture of him playing “Deal or No Deal” with the kids Christmas Eve (an annual family tradition) to come up with the wake up time for Christmas morning (he’s on the phone with the “banker”).
Datiya wrote a really sweet entry about me and submitted it to Spirit 105.9 and won a Mother’s Day bundt cake and spa day for me.
I (Michelle) am still a busy homeschool mom. With 4 children who have graduated from high school, but 9 left at home, I’m still pretty entrenched in the work of homeschooling and raising kind, civilized little humans. Eden and Haddie and are working on their academics at their individual levels as well as life skills. The boy sQUAD and I have been enjoying a States and Capitals unit, along with a unit on the US presidents and elections. This was a superfun year for that, wasn’t it? We have also spent the last few months reading the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings series. We are three chapters away from finishing the last book, and then we will have a movie marathon and feast, which we did following our reading of the Hobbit with a weekend movie-marathon of all three movies complete with a themed feast. It was so much fun, Can’t wait for the next feast. Besides the work of school, I have taken advantage of the extra time and new online platforms to complete 3 more Les Mills trainings, so I am now certified to teach Les Mills Body Combat and CXWORX (now called Core) and I am currently working on my certification for Grit and will hopefully pass my assessment within the next month. I am not currently teaching, but I am hoping to start again soon. One highlight for me in 2020 was promoting to Black Belt in Kuk Sool Won in May. This photo is of me with the cake Datiya won for me from a local radio contest for Mother’s Day!
It’s definitely a challenge to keep a letter about all 15 of us short, so if you’ve hung in there till the end, thanks for reading it all! I’m including some more photos from 2020 below. Enjoy!
It has taken me several days to finish writing this letter and compile all of the photos. Over the course of these days, so much has happened in 2021 already. So much craziness, division, and uncertainty seems to be the new reality. We pray that despite this rocky beginning, 2021 brings many blessings to you all, and in the midst of the chaos and discord that is surrounding us in our great nation right now, we pray that we can all see past the differences in views, opinions, and convictions to the hearts of those around us. Let us find hope in the Lord this year and place our trust in Him. I know that no person nor any government will save us, only Jesus, and only the God of the universe, Who holds all things in His hands. Peace to you all in 2021!
Love, The Erdner Family Todd, Michelle, Abby, Datiya, David, Nina, Enoch, Lillah, Simeon, Jed, Hezi, Tovi, Eden, Daniel and Haddie
Driveway project. All were involved, from the youngest, to the oldest and in between,
Barn Project 2020. Top left and center: pouring foundation. Top right: framing walls. Middle left: rafters. Middle center: rafters in progress. Middle right: roof. Bottom left: almost done. Bottom right: outside finished with stone and doors.
One of the horses inside the barn where these horses now live a live of comfort and luxury. 🙂
Tovi loves Haddie
Another adorable pic of our curly-headed Hezi.
One of the two bucks Simeon got this season
The boys got a dirt bike for Christmas–they are so happy with this gift!
Left to right: BB promotion May 2020, the boys and me with Grand master of KSW when we started years ago, a fun poster a friend made for my promotion. Some of the food we had for our Hobbit movie marathon and themed feast
The boy sQUAD with our Apple pie we baked for our Unit study–yum!
We also made Baked Alaska! So fun! They were really proud of this one.
We did a murder mystery New Year’s Eve! Everyone dressed up for our Wild West theme. It was so fun!Here we are being very serious about this Wild West murder mystery.Hezi was Banker Bob and he won the “Dressed to Kill Award”HAPPY NEW YEAR from our crazy family to you and yours!
A few days ago, I went on a run with my dog, Teddie. She saw me getting ready for my run and was standing by the door, tail wagging eagerly as I was about to make my exit. I couldn’t refuse those begging brown puppy dog eyes. Teddie is a pretty energetic dog, and as we began our run, she loped alongside me with ease, at times even bounding ahead of me. However, as the minutes ticked by, and we settled into the monotony of the run, she began to slow down a bit. Teddie is usually pretty good for the first two miles. Sure enough, right after the 2-mile mark, she began to drag her feet a bit more. She wanted to stop every few feet and smell the flowers and the grass, or chase the deer that had just darted into the woods ahead of us. I was annoyed and just wanted to keep on going. I had set my goal for a 4-mile run that morning, and I was not thrilled that now I had a 45-pound weight to coax along behind me. My attitude shifted between wanting to just give up and go home and the desire to drag Teddie the whole 4 miles with anger and resentment being the product of both.
Teddie was less than enthused once we passed the 2-mile mark
I was frustrated that I had decided to bring Teddie in the first place. I should have known, and truly I had known, that she would slow me down. I dragged her along, unwilling to give up my goal of running four miles. I was wearing myself out struggling against poor Teddie, and even my arms began to ache as I switched the leash from hand to hand while attempting to get Teddie excited about running a little faster. My struggle against my situation was proving to be rather fruitless as Teddie was definitely winning the battle over who would be in charge of the pace at which we would be running.
Slogging along with my sweet pup while the sun was slowly rising, bringing along with it some good old fashioned Texas August heat, I began to think about how this run could be compared to other times in my life when I’ve struggled with the situation in which I have found myself. Many of the choices I have made in my life have actually led to hard things for me. They are not choices that I regret, but they are choices that put me in a position where I would have to sacrifice, work harder, and at times change my planned course or the pace at which I believed I could accomplish something.
I chose to follow Jesus the spring of my Junior year of college. I really didn’t know at that time, the cost of this choice. I have lived a very abundant and blessed life, but following Jesus has definitely meant that I have had to alter the attitudes, dreams and plans I once held to. No regrets here, but my life’s path dramatically shifted in my very early 20’s. I have not looked back. This has been the foundational choice of my life, following a Way that doesn’t reflect the ways of this world.
I have a Stanford education, and I chose to pour all of that knowledge into these amazing 13 people with whom I have been blessed as my children. Sometimes, I have felt like I did that morning with Teddie on my run–like I am being held back, like I want to go a different direction, like I am struggling against what my choices (and my blessings) have brought into my path. Over the years, however, I have learned to lean into these things and stop struggling against them. I have embraced the challenges, learned to go with the interruptions, found the joy in slowing down and checking out the scenery with my children. Together we have smelled the flowers and chased the deer. Instead of seeing this lifestlye as dragging me down or holding me back, I have seen how it has grown my character, helped me understand prioritizing what truly matters in life, and made me so much the better for it all. In my 20’s, I could have pursued a career that would have fulfilled me in a different way, and if that had been the path, I’m sure there would have been abundant blessings for me in that as well. But this is the life God has given me. He blessed us with baby after baby; He called us to homeschool them; He clearly called us to adopt three children with significant special needs. Some people would say I have given up the best years of my life to build into these lives. I could have put them in school, gotten a nanny, spent a lot more time pursuing things for myself. I could view them as dragging me down. My mom used to give me lots of ideas of things I could do as a “job” while staying home with my kids–I was always the daughter she thought would have an impressive career. I could have done so many great things with this tremendous Stanford brain. If I had dwelt on that too much, it would have felt like dragging my dog on that leash for my 4-mile run–inconvenient, slowing me down, cramping my style. I chose to see it differently.
Once we arrived at our driveway, Teddie found her enthusiasm once again.
That morning, just a few days ago, while I was running with my dog, I chose to see it differently. I slowed my pace, I let the leash out a little bit more so I wasn’t pulling Teddie so forcefully; so she could have a little more freedom. We became a team again. I listened to the day waking up, the different bird calls around me in our little rural neighborhood. I slowed even more to watch with Teddie as a bushy-tailed fox crossed the road just ahead of us. I smelled the beautiful morning air. I finished my 4-mile run. Yes, it was a bit slower than my usual brisk pace, but I did finish. I actually enjoyed it. When we arrived back at our long, gravel driveway, I let Teddie off of the leash, and she bounced ahead of me, back towards home. I laughed out loud as it occurred to me that maybe my style was cramping hers the whole time as well. Regardless, when my attitude shifted, so did my run. And I enjoyed my time with a little grey-spotted pup who forced me to slow down and drink the morning in fully.
I look at what lies ahead in my life. I still have many, many years ahead of homeschooling children, and I will have even more years ahead most likely, loving our children with special needs who will always require special care and attention. But these days, I actually am more free to pursue some interests that are for me. I am singing at church again after many years of being unable to do so. This past May, I promoted to 1st degree black belt in Kuk Sool Won martial art. I am taking a couple of classes that interest me, and I can share the things I am learning with my own little crew of students. We are entering a new chapter. Thus far in life, I feel as if nothing has really dragged me down. The sacrifices and the challenges have lifted me up. And all I see ahead is more beauty.
“Adversity is not simply a tool. It is God’s most effective tool for the advancement of our spiritual lives. The circumstances and events that we see as setbacks are oftentimes the very things that launch us into periods of intense spiritual growth. Once we begin to understand this, and accept it as a spiritual fact of life, adversity becomes easier to bear.“ – Charles Stanley
She was 4 years old. Blue eyes sparkling with pride as the wind blew her golden hair gently back. She was watching her daddy water ski for the first time in her life. He was an experienced water skier, and looked strong out there that day. “Go, Daddy!” she shrieked with joy, bouncing along as the boat hit some waves. Suddenly, big strong daddy hit a large wave and went down under the water. Abby screamed in terror, crying, “No!! Daddy!! Daddy!!” Distraught, she thought he was badly hurt or worse, and she could not be comforted until the boat turned around and she could see him floating and waving his arms to show he was OK. When he climbed back into the boat, she was still sniffling and softly crying, not completely recovered from the thought that something terrible had happened to her daddy.
It was at that moment that I realized what a special bond there can be between a little girl and her daddy. I had seen it before. We had two other young daughters and a son as well. There came a time when each little girl became especially enamored with the man in their lives. Sure, they loved me, too, but Daddy was the center of their worlds. This oldest daughter of ours, Abigail, was especially sensitive and had been a daddy’s girl almost from the very beginning of life as a newborn. By the age of 4 months or so, she gave her best smiles and what few snuggles there were to be had from her independent, on-the-go personality, to Daddy. I knew she loved me, too, but that day on the boat, as I saw how crushed Abby had been to think that her Daddy had been hurt, I quietly prayed that God would give Todd a long life and that he would allow him to be there for the children as they grew up. It really struck me just how much my little girl loved her daddy.
Fast forward 17 years, and Abby was working as a nurse in the ICU at a hospital in North Austin. September 10th, 2018 was a normal day just like any other Monday. We had done school, gone to martial arts and then on to speech, physical and occupational therapy for our two special needs girls. We had just gotten home for the afternoon. A friend and fellow homeschool mom had just arrived for a rare weekday afternoon playdate for the kids/school planning time for the moms. We were just about to settle in with our coffee and school books to plan a unit study together while the children played. I looked at my phone and noticed a text message from Todd.
It said, “Don’t freak out but I’m at the hospital getting checked out because I’m having chest pains.”
I hardly ever see texts during our busy school days, so I was surprised Todd would not have called instead of texting if he really thought he was having a heart attack. He said he was at the little hospital near our house, which isn’t really where you go if you really think you’re having a heart attack. I was processing this and saying to my friend that he surely he wouldn’t have texted me if he thought he actually be having a heart attack when a call came in from Todd’s cell phone.
I answered immediately and was greeted by a female voice saying, “Mrs. Erdner? I’m a nurse at Seton SW Hospital. Don’t worry, but we believe your husband is having a heart attack.” Don’t worry??!!
“Where is Todd? Why can’t he talk to me,” I shouted at the nurse.
Then I heard Todd’s voice in the background reassuring me that he was fine and not to worry. I must admit that it was not easy to NOT worry when the nurse told me I needed to get in the car right away and head to the main hospital downtown where they were transporting Todd by ambulance. By the grace of God, since my friend was there and offered to watch my children, I was able to just grab my purse and literally run out of the house to get to the hospital.
While I was on the way to the hospital, I called our children who weren’t home at that time to let them know what was going on. I called Abby first. Her reaction took me right back to that day on the lake when she was four years old. She was immediately hysterical, so much so that I told her she shouldn’t try to drive herself to the hospital to meet me there. I had been hanging onto the nurse’s words not to worry, but hearing my ICU nurse daughter freak out like she did made me panic. Thankfully, Abby’s roommate was able to drive her to the hospital. They actually made it to the hospital before I did, and as Todd was wheeled into the operating room where the cardiologist would put in the stent, she was able to tell him over and over how much she loved him (which Todd later related made him worry a little more than he had before). I also called our oldest son, whom we had just dropped of at Texas A&M for his freshman year of college a couple of weeks before. Nina and Enoch were at a class and were able to leave immediately to go home and watch their younger siblings. Datiya, our second oldest, was at Texas State and able to get home right away as well.
Abby and I waited in the waiting area, and after a while, the cardiologist emerged and informed us that Todd had had a 95% blockage in his LAD artery. I later found out that this type of blockage is called a “widowmaker” heart attack. The doctor also explained that Todd’s blood had been very thick and there had been small clots throughout his heart and arteries. They were able to administer blood thinners and open things back up as well as put in the stent. The doctor said he was very lucky to have made it in for surgery so quickly. The damage to his heart would be very minimal. We were all very relieved, but in the back of my mind, I wondered what had caused the hypercoagulation (excess blood clotting). He would have to see a hematologist to get more answers, but no one was too worried about that at the time.
After a few days, Todd was able to return home, and all of the children were so excited to see him. Most of the younger children really didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation. We wouldn’t know the results of Todd’s blood tests for a few days, so of course I spent hours on the internet searching for possible causes of hypercoagulation . What I found was scary for the most part, except for a couple of things that didn’t sound great but could at least be managed fairly easily. I prayed for peace and also for it to be one of the lesser evils. At the visit with the hematologist, we discovered that Todd’s condition was indeed one of the lesser evils, though it still sounded grim to hear. Todd was diagnosed with polycythemia vera, which is a form of blood cancer where the bone marrow makes too many red blood cells, causing the blood to thicken. This disease has no cure, but is usually manageable by having regular blood draws (when I read about this “bloodletting” before receiving his diagnosis, I thought it sounded very medieval), just like donating blood. Of course, this blood would be discarded because the mutation in his gene makes it faulty and not able to be donated. At the time, the doctor said that he might need to take medication eventually to control the condition, but that it probably wouldn’t be necessary.
There is so much more that has happened in the last couple of years since Todd had his heart attack. I will definitely continue the story. I’ve wanted to tell it for so long, but it has taken a while for me to be able to really put it down in writing. Life is so short and there are no guarantees of health, wealth, comfort, or even life itself. To end this post, I’ll simply share a few things I learned at the time of Todd’s heart attack.
I am married to a great man. He isn’t president of his company, nor has he climbed the corporate ladder as he could have if he had made different choices in life. However, he is a faithful and loving husband, a wonderful father, a respected elder/leader in our church, and a loyal and valued friend to many. His colleagues at work respect him and enjoy working for him. He truly cares about them and their families. We had so many friends visit the hospital during that time, and many more friends and coworkers both near and far either called or sent emails to let him know they were thinking about and praying for him. This man is adored by his children. Every single one of them feels loved, valued, heard, encouraged by him. This is not easy to do with 13 children, but he makes it happen. I could write a book about this wonderful man. I have grown in my walk with God because of him. We have challenged one another and matured so much in our marriage over the years. The heart attack just reminded me of the magnitude of this man’s impact on so many people’s lives. It was a wake up call for sure, but one that made me remember to be thankful for him each day we are granted.
I learned that anything can happen when you least expect it. Of course, most people know this, but it is easy to coast through life when things are going well and think that “these things” happen to other people. Maybe it’s our way of coping with the fact that none of us are immune to the brokenness and pain that is in this fallen world. Todd was fit and healthy–not someone who should be at risk for having a heart attack. Again, just a reminder to live each day to the fullest, to push aside the unimportant and invest time in what really matters because we never know when our time will come.
I learned to say “yes” to accepting help from others. So many people from the various communities and activities in which we are involved came forward to help us with the kids, driving to lessons and practices, and making meals. My first instinct was to say “no” because I wasn’t the one who had had the heart attack. I was fine. I could still do everything I had been doing. I almost didn’t let my friends set up a meal calendar for us because it felt silly to me since I could still cook, etc. Several friends urged me to just take the meals and the help and focus on taking care of Todd. We had one month solid of daily meals brought to our family with love. I can’t truly describe how it felt to receive the help. It went beyond just not having to prep food for this clan; it actually helped me realize that I did need to recover from this experience as well. Emotionally, I had been through a lot, and we were just embarking on this journey of living with a chronic condition that would have to be monitored and controlled for the rest of Todd’s life. I needed to let people help me and love our family, and I am so glad that I did. I learned a lot about receiving with joy and grace. It definitely is easier for me to give than to receive. A few times different people offered to drive the children to their activities, and that was also a really wonderful relief, simple as it seems. As a side note, it was so fun to see all the friends who provided meals for us–from church family, Todd’s work, our wonderful Kuk Sool Won (martial arts) family, and other friends. What a true blessing to feel so loved and cared for.
Finally, the most important thing I learned came from what Todd shared with me after his surgery while he was recovering. He said that that day as he was experiencing an event that could have ended his life, when he thought he might not actually live, he could look back at his life with no regrets. He felt like he had invested in the right things. We had a strong, solid marriage full of love, life, and adventure. He had spent time prioritizing his children, spending time with them and developing close relationships with each one. He was strong in his walk with God and had served, given and shared his faith. Praise God, he felt that if God had wanted to take him that day, he would have been ready with no regrets. It made me pause and wonder if I could say the same. How many of us could truly say the same?
May we live our lives to the fullest! You never know how long you have as any day could be your last! Invest time in the things that matter, love those around you, serve people, fight for what is true and right. Put others first and spend less time worrying about yourself and vain things. Move forward with intention and purpose!
And He told them a parable saying, “The land of a rich man was very productive. And he began reasoning to himself, saying, “What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?” Then he said, “This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, ‘Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink, and be merry. ‘ But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?’ So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.Luke 12:16-21
So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.Psalm 90:12
Another year has gone by, and here we are, in the middle of the holiday season. I have decided that our annual update will be a New Year’s greeting, and that’s OK. We have actually had a fairly restful December, spending meaningful time celebrating advent as a family most evenings, doing just enough fun Christmas-related stuff, but not so much as to feel stressed, and completing most of our shopping online! Ultimately, for us, the most important thing is always to focus on celebrating the Reason for this season–the baby born to die to save the world, and I’m so happy that this year, our family was really able to do this. Things felt simpler, even with such a big, busy family. We pray that all of you have been able to enjoy special times this holiday season.
Now, it’s time for the update! So, sit back, relax and read on… (We always list the kids in the order in which they joined the family, which is why Eden, Daniel and Haddie are listed at the end :))
Abby is 22 and a nurse in the Intensive Care Unit at St. David’s North Austin Medical Center. She has been working night shift there for almost 1 1/2 years. Abby seems to be in a really good place in life now. She has settled into that crazy night shift schedule, and has made many friends there whom she really enjoys. She continues to be active in The Branch, which is a ministry for young adults in north Austin. She lives in Pflugerville, just north of Austin in a nice apartment with a fellow nurse she met in nursing school. It’s still hard for me to believe that our oldest child is now all grown up and on her own. Even though she lives kind of far (north Austin is *so* far from where we are in SW Austin :)), we still see her often. It warms my heart that Abby loves coming home whenever she can. She loves all of her younger brothers and sisters so much and wants to be with them. It is such a blessing to Todd and me to see our children enjoying one another so much. Abby has enjoyed some traveling in the last year, now that she has her own income. She went to Israel in May with a group led by our former pastor. Abby also got to travel to London with Todd, David, Todd’s brother, Jeff and his son, Jack. Abby organized a trip for the older 5 kids (plus David’s best friend, Braydon, who is officially our 14th child :)) to go to Nashville a couple of weeks ago. They had a blast. This beautiful young woman is a delight to us, and we are so proud and blessed to be her parents.
Datiya is 21 and will enter her final semester of classes at Texas State this spring. After that, she will have one semester of field work, graduating in December 2020! Datiya has excelled in her major at Texas State as an honors student, earning outstanding grades, and consistently making the Dean’s List. Datiya has impressed her professors with her work ethic, intellect, and confidence. One of my favorite stories about Datiya came from a professor who wrote her a recommendation for a scholarship (which she won!). The professor took a group to the Texas State Capitol to lobby for programs in their field (recreation therapy), and Datiya met the group there, even though she wasn’t part of the class. She then proceeded to get up and speak boldly and confidently for their cause in front of the legislators. The professor said that she has been taking groups to the capitol for years, and she has never had one student before, not even a graduate student, get up to speak. This past summer, she was able to travel to New Zealand and Australia to complete 2 classes for her major. Sounds like a great deal to me, even though from all her pictures it doesn’t look like she did much studying! Datiya is also active in a service sorority, works as an RA, and even joined the water ski team. She had the opportunity to travel to California with the team in October for Nationals! Datiya has many friends, and is a loyal and wonderful person. You definitely want Dot on your side if you ever need anything. Datiya also considers her sisters and brothers to be her best friends, and she will often bring friends home to meet our crazy crew. We are blessed to have this spunky, strong young lady in our family. Watch out, world, here she comes!!
David is 19 and still the “loudest, proudest member of the fighting Texas Aggies.” He has successfully brainwashed every younger brother to be a future Aggie. David works very hard, and gets excellent grades, but he balances this by staying very involved in other activities such as Cru, Breakaway (“Tuesday nights at 9pm, Reed Arena”), intramural soccer, and ping pong. He bought himself an electric keyboard so he could continue to play the piano–he can pick up new music easily by ear, and is very talented. I love having him home and hearing the piano music drift through the house. David made us very proud this fall by being selected through a very competitive process to be in the prestigious Zachry Leadership Program for engineering students. They only selected 32 out of several hundred applicants, so we wanted to brag on him a little bit. David traveled to London this past summer with Todd and Abby to see his favorite team, Arsenal, play. It was a very special time for them. David is just a wonderful young man, and we are so thankful our younger boys have a guy like him to look up to. He is so good and loving with all of the younger kids, and it is a blessing to see him interact with them. They all adore him so much. All of his sisters say they want to marry someone like David, which says a lot, I think. David is a blessing to have in our family, and I’m so happy that now he’s old enough to not mind hugs and kisses from mom so much anymore. 🙂
Nina became an official adult, turning 18 just a few days ago. We let her graduate in May (a year early), and she has been taking more classes at Austin Community College this fall as she applied to schools. She was accepted at Texas Tech and University of Texas at Austin among others, and has decided to attend Texas Tech. Nina was accepted into the honors program there, and she plans to major in kinesiology with an emphasis on pre-med. She plans to be a doctor, and as of now wants to be a trauma surgeon. Nina certainly has the drive and brains to get her there or wherever else life may take her. She is beautiful, funny, strong, and confident. Nina and I are very close, and often do things together or just hang out. I will really miss her when she’s at school. I’ve been a little spoiled as my oldest three kids all went to schools within 2 hours of home, and Lubbock is closer to 7 hours away. At least I will still be able to hop in the car and drive there when I want to see her. And there’s always FaceTime and SnapChat. Nina is a lively, helpful, capable, and fun young lady, and it is such a blessing to have her in our family. As much as we will miss her, I can’t wait to see her very bright future unfold.
Enoch is 16 and now a very cool driving dude. Still the most people-oriented person I’ve ever known in my life, this kid thrives on being with others. He started working at TCBY, and he does such a wonderful job there. Enoch’s friendly nature and strong work ethic has made him a valuable employee, and he often volunteers to help out even when he’s not scheduled. That is because Enoch really is thoughtful and wants to be helpful. Enoch is also very generous. He finds joy in doing things like bringing a favorite teacher at One Day Academy a Starbucks coffee every week. He will always share what he’s eating, even the sausage from the first deer he got while hunting this fall. Enoch plays select soccer, drums, and is working on getting his black belt in Kuk Sool Won. We are happy that he can now drive himself to these activities! He is also very willing to help drive when we need him to run an errand or take a sibling somewhere. Enoch is very fashion conscious, and he can usually be found looking pretty sharp (or “pretty dope” as he would say). Enoch and I have started watching a show together, and I really enjoy this time with him, as we don’t get as much time together in the car anymore. He is a sophomore, so I know the time will speed by, and soon it will be his turn to leave the nest. He is a kid who will go places in life, with his likeable personality, confidence, brains, and good looks, too! We’re so blessed to have Enoch’s big personality in our family.
Lillah is 14, and will be 15 in April. She is very eager to get her learner’s permit, but I don’t know if I’m ready! Lillah is still sweet, sweet, sweet. She is thoughtful and fair, always thinking of others and making sure everyone gets food or dessert or whatever treat (she saves some aside for whoever isn’t home). As sweet as she is, Lillah is also very confident and poised. She is a leader through and through. This year, she, along with Simeon and Enoch, is participating in a discipleship group/school every Wednesday, where they do history, Bible, government, and literature. She is the only girl in the program now. We thought about whether she should do it, being the only young lady, but after some thought and prayer, we went ahead and put her in the program. She said, truthfully, she is used to being surrounded by boys, so it really isn’t a big deal. Recently, Simeon invited the guys from the group to our house for a semester’s-end party/sleepover. Lillah stepped up to get those boys in line for pizza and activities. She would stand up, clap her hands, speak in a loud voice, and order everyone around. They pretty much did whatever she said! 🙂 There is a reason her Uncle Steve calls her “Captain.” Lillah is dancing again this year and played soccer in the fall. Her true passion, however, is horses and riding. She is very responsible, caring for our animals and also handling multiple pet-sitting jobs. She has a little calendar on which she keeps track of all her jobs. She has saved up quite a bit of money from pet-sitting and reffing. The highlight of Lillah’s year (as well as Simeon’s and Enoch’s) was going on a cruise with their discipleship group. The trip was amazing, and all expenses were covered by a donor, which made it possible for them to go! Lillah is a precious girl, and we love her sweet, strong spirit. She is stepping up as one of the older kids left at home, and we are so blessed to have this sweet daughter in our family.
Simeon with Matthew West!
Simeon is 12, and is a very sweet, sensitive boy. He excels in school, and has now officially entered the speech and debate competitive world as a senior competitor. He will be debating in Team Policy debate this upcoming season, as well as doing a Duo Interpretation with Lillah, impromptu, and informative speeches. Simeon plays select soccer, and is a dedicated and skilled player. He is extremely athletic, and continues to amaze us with his acrobatics. He can scale things like Spidey, back/front flip like a ninja warrior, and even walks on his hands. All of these amazing skills aside, Simeon has a heart of gold. He is constantly looking for ways to connect with and include Daniel. He asked for a study Bible for Christmas so that he could read and study his own Bible every day, and he is a boy who is committed to praying for people. A highlight for Simeon was going to the Matthew West concert in early December. After the show, as we were leaving, we happened to go out the back door to where our car was parked, and we saw Matthew West coming in another back door. Jed yelled his name and he came over, talked to us and even took a couple of pictures with the boys. Cool moment for Sim, especially, as he is a huge fan of Matthew West. Simeon has the most precious smile, newly donned with braces as of March. He is the adored leader of our little “son run” (a term I affectionately use to refer to our 4 youngest), and he is gentle and kind with all of them *most* of the time, even when it would be easy to lose his temper with them. Simeon was overjoyed to be able to go on the cruise with Enoch and Lillah with the discipleship group they attend. He now says he thinks he wants to live on a cruise ship. Simeon is always quick with a hug and kiss for each parent and sibling, and he says “I love you” to everyone before bed each night. I really can’t wait to see how God will use this young man as he grows and further matures. He’s pretty special. We are so blessed to call him our son.
Jedidiah (Jed) is our 10-year-old “wild man.” He is quick-witted and hilarious, and basically keeps me on my toes at all times. Jed is a great kid, full of energy and curiosity, which means if I turn my back on him during school time, I will generally turn back to find him gone. Thankfully, he is smart as a whip, and when I can catch him, excels at school, especially math, which he can do in his head with no problem (no pun intended). I have to make him write things down first so that as things get harder he is used to that. He really can do it all in his head at this point. Jed is reading really well, and is finally at the point where he can get lost in a book, which I always love to see any kid do. Jed is also a force to be dealt with on the soccer field. I mean, of course he is, with as much energy as he has. Last spring, he did a few vlog posts for our YouTube channel (which is currently on hold right now till we get a new video camera), which were some of my favorites that we posted, simply because he is a riot. If you haven’t watched Jed’s vlog posts, they are worth a looksee. 🙂 Jed’s personality is larger than life, vibrant, intelligent and witty. Whenever we can get him to slow down for a few minutes and hear what is going on in his head, we are amazed at what comes out of his mouth. One of my favorites from this last year: one day, I was running at the speed of life, as usual, and they boys were particularly rowdy as we were driving around town. Jed was riding near the front, and being relatively quiet (unusual for him). I looked at him and said, gesturing at the chaos in the back of the van, “Can you see why I might sometimes lose my cool?” Without skipping a beat, he looked up at me with his mischievous green eyes, put his hand on my shoulder, and said, very seriously, “Mom, sometimes at times like these, chocolate helps.” Haha, yes, son, very wise and true words. Jed could grow up to be anything from an engineer to a standup comedian, and it is fun being along for the ride. We are blessed to have this little spark plug as our son.
Hezekiah (Hezi) is now 8 and in 2nd grade! He still has sandy blond curls whenever he lets his hair grow long enough to see them. He has sweet, big brown eyes, dimples, and the cutest little smile. Besides his adorableness, he has a sweet and sensitive heart as well. He loves to snuggle up with us to read or watch a movie, and he wants to be tucked in at night. Hezi requested a real Bible with all the verses for his birthday, and he can be found reading it on his bed every morning before he comes down for breakfast and every evening before bed. Hezi also plays soccer, with his older brothers training him to be a goalie at home, so he actually is a pretty decent goalie. Hezi will play basketball this winter, and then he has decided to go back to baseball for the spring. He was so cute playing baseball a couple of seasons ago, and there was something relaxing about the games, so we’re all for it! Hezi is doing well in school, and is enjoying reading chapter books now that he is able to read more fluently. Math is also easy for him so far, although he doesn’t claim to like it much. His favorite subject is reading and vocabulary. Hezi loves playing with his brothers, but he can also often be found playing by himself with Legos or in the sandbox. Hezi is a very affectionate boy who is a blessing to our family.
Tovi is 5 and began Kindergarten this fall. He is adored by everyone in the family and also has the ability to charm anyone else for that matter. Tovi is very bright, and is already reading tons of words on his own. He is very easy to teach and extremely independent. Tovi played soccer again this fall, and he was definitely very into it, running his little heart out, sliding to score, and waiting eagerly on the sideline for his turn to go in. Tovi is a mama’s boy in that he really loves his mama, but he’s also super rough and tough. I really like the fact that he wants me to be there for him, to come upstairs and read to him every night and to snuggle for a few minutes. We have a special bond, and it’s really sweet. Tovi wanted to play basketball this winter, so it will be fun to get to watch his and Hezi’s games. I can’t believe our “baby” is so grown up and capable of so many things. Tovi definitely milks his position in the family for all it’s worth, getting his older siblings to let him play on their phones or tablets. They give him lots of treats, too. Tovi has everyone wrapped around his finger, and he knows it. He’s coordinated, skilled at many things, and if he isn’t skilled at it yet, he will be with a little practice and determination (which he has in endless supply). Tovi is an amazing little boy, and such a blessing to us all. This little dynamo brings so much fun and joy to our family.
Eden is 16 and is doing really well. She has really come into her own, pretty much fluent in English and comfortable and confident as a member of the family. Eden has a bold personality when it comes to people she is comfortable with. She doesn’t hesitate to tell people what to do or to give information about things. The only problem is that sometimes she just makes things up to tell people, like, “Dad said…” or “Mom said…” when we didn’t say. It’s kind of funny, but I think she likes to take charge, and that’s just one of the ways in which she does that. Eden is steadily working through her curriculum and progressing with math and reading, at about a 1st grade level. She is definitely learning to read, slowly and steadily. Academics don’t come super easily for her, but she works really hard and enjoys doing her school, which we have chosen to keep doing at home. I’m so excited that we found a Special Olympics team for her and Haddie to join, and they will be playing basketball this winter. They are so happy about it, and I’m glad that they will be in a place where they can grow and learn in a setting that is appropriate for them and in which they can be successful. Eden can’t wait for their practices to resume after the holidays. She still loves to be on the go, and will always say yes if you ask her if she wants to go somewhere. The life skills she and Haddie are learning at home as part of their school is preparing them for jobs they will be able to do in the future, and I’m beginning to look into options for them as they will both be turning 17 in the next few months. Eden is very sweet, and a helpful daughter who is a blessing to us.
Daniel is 12, which he now enjoys telling us several times a day. He also writes his name and age in his notebook all the time, “Daniel 12″ and points to it and says, ‘Daniel, 12.” I’m teaching him to say, “I’m twelve,” which he can say, but he still wants to say, “Daniel, 12” instead. Daniel knows a lot and is very crafty. Academics are not necessarily his thing, but he is very street smart. He has learned a lot in school and enjoys being there. He can write his first name, most of “Erdner,” and he loves to write numbers. The neurologist prescribed a medication for him that has been really helpful in helping him to be more successful at school and more manageable at home. He will still have mood swings often, but his impulsiveness is reduced when he’s on his medicine. It also helps him sleep better at night, which allows him to be happier during the day as well. Daniel has grown a LOT this last year. His appetite has improved, and he eats really well, which has helped him grow and look stronger. He is healthy and rarely gets sick. Daniel loves riding the bus to school, and even though he isn’t really verbal, he manages to tell the bus drivers lots of stories using a few words and lots of miming and facial expressions. For his birthday, his teachers gave him a t-shirt that says “Mayor of SSES (Sycamore Springs Elementary School),” because he is loved by all there. Every day, he walks around the school greeting everyone, smiling and waving “hi” to whomever he encounters. He certainly is charming, despite remaining quite challenging. It is a blessing to have Daniel as our son, watching him grow and thrive in our family.
Haddie will be 17 in a few days, and she is sweet and smiley. Learning continues to be a struggle for her, and we are just going along at the pace she needs. I looked back over last year’s letter and, taking that step back, I can see she has made progress. However, the day to day is very slow, and Haddie has to work really hard in school and with communicating. We received her communication device last spring, and she was so happy and proud of it. It definitely has opened up a lot of communication for her that we wouldn’t have without it She has learned to say many things on the device, and I do think it is helping her vocabulary to expand quite a bit, even though she still doesn’t initiate as much as I would like to see. We’re hoping that will change over time. Haddie’s counting has improved from last year, as now she can consistently count and write to 10 without help. I have to approach things with her in terms of what will be really practical for her life skill and navigating her world versus a typical academic course of study. She will most likely never learn to read, and math skills like adding and subtracting seem like an impossibility at this point for her, so we are adapting her education to give her the most potential to be as independent as possible. It has been extremely frustrating over the last few months, as I’ve been trying to find a neuropsychologist to evaluate her (IQ, memory, etc.), and no one seems to think they’ll be able to get accurate results given her limited ability to speak and communicate verbally. I have given up a couple of times, taken a break, and then tried again. So far, nothing. I think it would be helpful to get some idea of what exactly we are dealing with so we can better meet her needs and help her to learn as much as she can. Haddie is very helpful with sweeping and cleaning, and loves to be useful around the house. She adores babies and children, and they love her back. Tovi often plays with her and Eden, and he just loves them both. Haddie’s beautiful smile is enough for children, and no words are necessary. I think she will be able to work at a daycare or possibly be a mom’s helper someday. Haddie is a sweet daughter and a blessing to our family, and I’m so glad to see how happy she is to be part of our family as well.
New Zealand 2019
It has now been over a year since Todd’s heart attack, and he is doing well. In the spring, we found out he will need to take medication to control the blood disease that he has, so he’s been on that for a few months now. Everything seems pretty stable, and he is feeling good, able to do everything he has always done. He remains super active, running, exercising, coaching kids, and being an elder at our church. His job at Intel has treated him well, and he enjoys the group he is in. Todd went on a business trip to New Zealand back in September, and I was able to join him for several days. It was a wonderful trip, and if it weren’t so far away, I would want to live there! What a beautiful country! This man is a wonderful and adored husband and father, and we are so thankful that God chose to spare him a year ago. He is wise, and the kids all seek out his advice often. The younger kids love playing with him and having tickle time, and Todd very diligently leads the family in devotions every morning. I attribute the little boys’ desire to have their own Bibles to learn from and read to the dedication Todd has had to teach them about the Lord and to disciple them. I admire him very much. Also, he is really patient with his little Cuban wife, and quick to forgive my many blunders. Not to mention, he spoils me a lot. For Christmas, he surprised me with an Alaskan Cruise with my favorite Christian artist, Steven Curtis Chapman! We will be sailing the week of my birthday this July 2020! I still can’t believe it. He’s too good to me.
Hobbiton was a highlight for me. I loved all the adorable little houses and things! And the setting in the middle of a 1200 acre working NZ farm is unbelievably serene and beautiful. Here I am at Bag End. I would move have moved in! 🙂
As for me, I’m busy as ever, with adult children, college children, high school, middle school, elementary, and Kindergarten kids to teach, counsel, hang out with, etc. I’ve got little boys wanting tucking in and snuggles, teens wanting to talk at midnight, and adult kids who sometimes need me at any time of day or night as well, even if it’s just to chat and catch up. I love my busy life, so full of these amazing people who are my babies, growing up to be the best people I know! I am in the middle of it all, with many years behind me and many more years to come of raising this clan, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve discovered recently I can take a little time to explore my interests outside the family, now that we no longer have so many little ones. I have enjoyed teaching Les Mills Body Pump classes at the YMCA for over a year now, and as of this past April, I have my own classes Mondays and Wednesdays at 5:35am as well as every other Sunday at 4:15pm. (Come join me sometime if you’re local!) I love sharing my passion for health and fitness with other people. I run 3-4 mornings per week, and am training for my 5th half marathon coming in January. I think I may do one in February and one in April as well. Hopefully, I’m just a few months away from earning my Black Belt in Kuk Sool Won. It has been a long journey and tons or work, but I enjoy it a lot and have made many friends there.
Had to add one more pic of me at Hobbiton. The baker’s house! So cute!!
It may sound crazy, but I have also been taking a few classes online to take care of some prerequisites to enroll in nursing school. I am working slowly through the classes, and I will hopefully be able to enroll in a mostly online program within a year or so. I do sleep occasionally.
Todd and I often reflect on all the blessings we have been given by God. We have sweet, loving children who are doing well. We have the blessing of a big, warm house to call home, with our little farm where the kids can run and ride horses and hug kitties and dogs. Todd has a great job that allows me to be home and do all the things that I do. We are so thankful. May your 2020 bring blessings, growth and encouragement to your lives, and if you’re ever in Texas, come on down to “Abundant Life Ranch” and hang out with us for a bit. Happy New Year!
Everyone was able to join us for our annual Christmas Tree hunt this year, including Michelle’s mom, Yvonne, and Nina’s boyfriend, Connor. We filled one entire side of the hayride trailer.
It’s that time of year again, when I’m late with the “Christmas” card, and end up writing a New Year’s greeting. 🙂 We hope you have all had a lovely Holiday Season. We have had a special time this year with some travel before Christmas, and a wonderful time of celebrating the birth of Jesus. So here’s a “quick” update on our family for your reading pleasure.
Abby’s College Graduation picture
Abby graduated in May (a year early!) with her Bachelor of Science in Nursing. She turned 21 shortly after graduation and passed the NCLEX. Abby had been hired during her final clinical rotation, and upon passing the NCLEX she officially began her job as a nurse in the Intensive Care Unit at St. David’s Northwest Austin Medical Center. She is currently working nights, but is hoping to get put on day shift soon. Abby’s caring and cheerful personality makes her a wonderful nurse, and she is perfect for the ICU, which is not an easy place to be. When searching for Christian friends her age, we came across a ministry called Abby also began attending Coffee House Austin, which is a young adult fellowship that meets in North Austin. She really enjoys being involved in that ministry, and was asked to be on the leadership team. She is very excited to be joining a group led by our former pastor to Israel this Spring. We’re extremely proud of our beautiful Abby and all that she has accomplished through her hard work and dedication. We are excited to watch her future unfold before her.
Datiya in Destin, FL, August 2018
Datiya turned 20 in October. It seems strange that we now have two children in their “20’s.” Weren’t we just in our 20’s? Datiya decided to to leave the ACC Vet Tech program after completing her first year (with flying colors–she just realized it wasn’t what she wanted to do). She transferred to Texas State University and was accepted into the Honors College. She is working towards a degree in Recreation Administration with a concentration on Recreational Therapy. She is on track to graduate in December of 2020. As a fun bonus, Datiya is planning to travel to Australia in the early part of the summer to study abroad. As part of her degree program, Datiya has been able to volunteer at the memory care community where my dad is a resident. That has been really special. Datiya’s fun sense of humor and wit keeps us laughing whenever she is around. We are excited to see where her adventurous spirit paired with her very versatile degree takes her in the future.
David’s high school graduation, posing with his “twin” (14 years younger) Tovi
David turned 18 in December, and got accepted to Texas A & M University where he is now the “loudest, proudest member of the fighting Texas Aggies, aaaaayyyyyyyyyyy! Ay!” I have honestly never met anyone more excited to be in college at a particular University. David lives and breathes Texas Aggie spirit. It is very cute. This past summer, David pulled off getting a paid internship at Intel. He was Todd’s chauffeur to work every day, and it was a real blessing for both of them to get to work together. We are happy to report that David has already been hired again for next summer. Another notable event for this young man was that he participated in a mission trip our church hosted for our young adults to minister in Guatemala. He was able to go with Nina, Enoch and Lillah. They had a very special time. He finished his year last spring qualifying to Nationals in speech and debate in 5 speeches. He is currently helping out at a speech and debate club in College Station and is really enjoying that. He is doing very well at A & M, and he recently got a job in campus cyber security. We will see how that goes. David is a delight and we are very proud of him.
Nina at our niece’s bridal shower
Nina is newly 17 but still going on about 25. She is very capable and has a couple of “mom jobs” where she does everything from caring for children to cooking meals and doing housework. Unfortunately, those skills aren’t necessarily put to use in our own household because she is so busy! She loved the mission trip to Guatemala over the summer, and she often says she misses her time there. Currently, Nina is very busy completing her high school requirements this year and earning college credits through Austin Community College. She is also doing Mock Trial this year as well as competing in speech and debate. She is a junior this year, but has a hankering to graduate early and begin her studies to become a surgeon. She applied to a few colleges this fall, and has been accepted to Texas Tech. She is waiting to hear back from a couple more universities. Nina is a bright, funny, and very mature young lady. I’m hoping she’ll get into UT so she can stay close to home. She and her mom are very close, so it will be hard to let her go too far. We have very mixed feelings about letting Nina graduate early. We enjoy having her around, and it’s a bit shocking to have 4 kids graduate from high school in the span of 4 years! Regardless, it is wonderful to see the beautiful young woman Nina is becoming. We know God has great things planned for her.
Enoch, a.k.a, “Mr. Social”
Enoch is 15 as of July, and he is Mr. Social. Enoch makes friends easily and is somehow really good at getting what he wants. I guess that’s a good skill to have in life. Persistence is the name of the game with Enoch. He doesn’t give up easily, so he is successful at many things. The good news is, he’s really generous and shares pretty well. If he buys food, he always asks if I want some. He often buys a coffee for one of his teachers at One Day Academy just to bless her. Pretty sweet. Enoch continues to enjoy playing select soccer, and he spends a lot of time practicing and juggling the ball. He is also a very good student. Enoch will compete in Lincoln Douglas debate again this year as well as a few speeches. Over the past summer, Enoch not only got to participate in the mission trip to Guatemala, but he also went on a soccer travel trip with US Revolution to Norway and Scotland. His cousin was on the team with him, and his Uncle accompanied them on the trip. They had the time of their lives. It was so nice for him to be able to spend that time with his cousin and uncle. Enoch is a really amazing kid, with so many things going for him: great personality, confidence, brains, and he is kinda cute to boot! It’s fun watching him grow into a young man.
Lillah was an angel in Dance to Glory’s “The Promised One” production last Spring.
Lillah is 13, and will be 14 in April. She remains as sweet as she can possibly be. Lillah is a horse lover extraordinaire. She now has 3 horses in her care at our little ranch. She helps out at the barn where she rides whenever she can. Lillah is a loyal friend, and her friends all love her. She can make anyone feel comfortable. The little brothers all look up to Lillah, and she is still their “captain.” Lillah and Simeon have had the opportunity to be part of a homeschool discipleship group run by a pastor at a little church not too far from our house. That has been a huge blessing for them this year. They are learning a ton and having loads of fun as well. Lillah is increasing her speech load this year and hoping to compete in 4 speech events. She wanted to debate as well, but we haven’t been able to find her a Team Policy partner. Lillah was the youngest member of the Guatemala mission trip this summer, and her favorite part besides ministering to the beautiful people there was, of course, meeting different animals there. She even befriended a chicken she named Pablo. Lillah is still very horse crazy. She also plays soccer and takes ballet, tap, modern and drama at Dance to Glory dance studio. Lillah is sweet, compassionate, and, even at 13, has remained very innocent, which we really love about her. She can stay young and innocent for a bit longer–that’s OK with us! Lillah is becoming a lovely young woman inside and out, and she really loves God and learning about Him. We are delighted with our little lady.
Simeon with Josh Wilson after the Christmas Roadshow concert.– he was amazing! Very talented!
Simeon is 11 1/2. He is very charming with a big smile, and a fun, endearing manner about him. He is the one all the little boys look up to, and he’s so loving and caring with Tovi. They call each other “Buddy,” and it is just the sweetest thing. Simeon is very athletic, playing soccer on a select team for the first time this year, and continuing to impress everyone with his gymnastic abilities. Simeon can often be seen jumping on the trampoline with the younger boys, doing tricks and back flips. Simeon also continues with Kuk Sool Won martial arts and is on track to earn his black belt in the next year or so. He is very bright, and learns things easily. When he wants to learn about something, Simeon simply checks out a book about it at the library or reads about it on the internet. Recently, Simeon has developed an interest in baking, and we enjoy the goodies he makes whenever he gets the urge to create a new baking creation. He is also the healthy Smoothie King of the household. It is a pleasure to see Simeon growing into a young man who loves Jesus and is trying to please him. He is generous and cheerful, and he is a good buddy not only to his siblings, but also to his friends. We love his kind, loyal personality.
Jedidiah Isaac has a very fitting name, as he’s friendly, outgoing, and good at getting laughs.
Jedidiah is 9 as of September, and he is the most hilarious person. He keeps us all laughing most of the time, unless he’s getting into major trouble. He has been our most accident-prone child, sporting scars from 6 different sets of stitches or staples on his head or face alone. He added a 7th round of stitches over the summer after stepping on top of a glass aquarium. This time, he expanded his repertoire to include 27 stitches on his calf. Jed plays soccer, which he really loves, and he is also working towards becoming a black belt candidate in Kuk Sool Won. Jed is maturing and beginning to really get into school. He is quite a math whiz, easily working through several pages per day in his math book. Jed competed in his first Juniors speech tournament last spring, and he placed 3rd with his cute interpretation of the poem “Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take the Garbage Out!” He is quite expressive. Jed is very thoughtful for such a young guy. He pipes up with little nuggets of wisdom for us all the time. Recently, we were driving home after a long day of outings during which I had been trying to civilize my bunch of little boys. Jed was sitting up front, and I was asking him if, after seeing me dealing with all of their antics all afternoon, he could understand why I sometimes can get frustrated. He nodded sympathetically and said, “Mom, when I’m having a hard day, chocolate helps.” Yes, yes, it does Jed. We love our bouncy, energetic little Jed.
Hezi with his baseball coach last Spring. He’s our first child to play baseball. We loved it!
Hezekiah turned 7 in November! It’s hard for me to believe our little ones are getting so old now. Hezi is in 2nd grade, and is doing really well with reading and math. He is inquisitive and able to figure out where to find the information he needs. I always say if you can teach a child how to learn for him- or herself, he or she will excel. Hezi seems naturally good at math as well. It’s fun to see him easily navigate through his books. Learning is such a cool thing to be a part of as a homeschool mom. As for sports, Hezi became our first baseball player ever. He played Spring and Fall ball. He told me last Spring that he was retiring from soccer to play baseball, but that he might decide to go back to soccer someday. It was a nice change of pace to sit on the bleachers and watch his games. We really enjoyed it. Hezi is sweet and sensitive. He asks for snuggle time every day and still sleeps with his little bear, “Bear Walker.” We love having this precious boy in our family.
Toviel is 4 and will be 5 in April. He is no longer a baby although we call him our baby. He is quick to remind us that he is a big boy. And that he is. We are always joking that Tovi is good at everything. The reality is, he is really good at things. If there is something he isn’t good at, he will practice over and over until he masters it. I’ve never seen a more coordinated 4-year-old. Tovi can ripstick, ride a bike, play soccer, swim like a fish, and ski better and faster than many of the other family members. This summer while we were in Destin for a family vacation, Tovi wanted to learn how to stand on the boogie board in the pool. He tried again and again for over an hour until he could stand on that boogie board. He did the same thing to learn how to ride the ripstick. He spent a whole day falling off the ripstick and getting back up on it again until he could speed around the couch with the older kids. It’s truly amazing, the determination that drives this little 4-year-old. We can’t wait to see how this little wonder continues to grow and mature. We are all smitten with him. We can’t help it.
Haddie (l) and Eden (r) wearing their matching “sisters” shirts they got for Christmas.
Eden is 15 and doing well. She chatters away in English all day long. She is full of questions as well as answers. Eden is helpful and sweet and super obedient. She is eager to do school and is learning to read! She also can do math at a kindergarten level, and is progressing well. Her fine motor skills are developing well, and she works really hard. Eden loves going to therapy. She has speech, occupational and physical therapy, and is making improvements in all areas. Eden loves to help Haddie in their school as well. Daniel really responds to her, and she is very sweet and patient with him. We are very blessed to have this sweet girl as our daughter.
Daniel on his birthday in March.
Daniel is 11, and he LOVES going to school at our local public school. They moved him to the 3rd grade this year. He spends most of the day in the Special Ed classroom, and about 30 minutes each day in the mainstream 3rd grade classroom. He rides the special needs bus, and he absolutely loves it. The bus driver has created a little incentive chart to help him learn to behave on the bus. It has worked really well for him. He sometimes struggles with behavior at school, but overall he has improved with his behavior. I love seeing him interact with kids at the school. They are all so sweet and accepting of him. He has learned to be more comfortable on the playground, and now he can swing without freaking out. Daniel still struggles with connecting with the family, which is really hard for us, but we are loving him and giving him a place to belong. All of the other kids are really sweet to him. His favorite sibling is definitely Eden. He shares a special connection with her.
Haddie will be turning 16 in just a few days. We had thought about changing the kids’ ages with a readoption, but decided against it after finding out they can receive some insurance benefits when they turn 21, so it’s better to not do that. Haddie is still severely delayed. She still barely speaks. It seems like she puts together what is being said to her and around her by taking in body language along with the words, but we’re not sure how much she truly completely understands. She gets by for the most part and she can play with the younger kids without needing to talk much. They all make it work and don’t seem bothered by it. Last Spring, we were able to find someone who could evaluate her in Mandarin (this has been a huge hurdle). We discovered she only says about 40 words in Mandarin. She couldn’t tell a story from pictures and she also only puts 2-3 words together at a time in Mandarin. This was very eye opening for us as we try to help Haddie with learning and language acquisition. Learning is very slow for Haddie, but she is making some progress. She can identify most of the letters of the alphabet now as well as the sounds they make. Counting is still very difficult for her. She has worked very hard and can now reliably count to 5 using signs and words, but she starts to get confused starting with the number 6. I am really excited because she is eligible to receive a communication device through our insurance and the speech therapy office. I am really hoping this device will help to unlock her ability to communicate. She needs a lot of repetition, and the device will allow her to choose pictures of words she wants to say and put them into sentences that she can then click on. The device will say the sentence for her, and she can try to repeat it. It will be wonderful to get the device and see how it helps Haddie. She is sweet and happy, and pretty compliant. She loves doing her school work and is helpful with chores as well. Haddie seems very happy to be part of our family and we love her. She shares a special bond with Tovi. He says she’s one of his best friends.
We had a bit of a shock in early September when Todd went to the hospital with chest pain and found out he was having a heart attack. I got a call from a nurse on his phone, which was very disturbing. I could hear him in the background telling me not to freak out. Needless to say, I freaked out. I rushed out the door and made it to the hospital in downtown Austin where he had been taken by ambulance from the hospital near our house which isn’t equipped with a cath lab. The doctors were able to quickly get a stent placed in the LAD artery, which was 98% blocked. Thankfully, the doctor said there was little to no permanent damage to his heart. We did find out that the main cause of his heart attack was that his blood was thickened and clotting. After a series of blood tests, we found out that he has a rare blood disorder that causes the bone marrow to make excess red blood cells. This condition is treatable by having blood drawn periodically to balance the volume of red blood cells and keep the blood from hypercoagulating. It has been quite a bumpy ride adjusting to the idea of all of this. Ultimately, we are just so very thankful that God spared Todd’s life and that He led us to discover this blood disease that could have caused even worse complications if left undetected.
I continue to homeschool the children and work with our speech and debate club. I am training for another half marathon, and I’m thinking of trying to work towards running a full marathon sometime. Right before Todd’s heart attack I went through training to become certified in Les Mills Body Pump. The day after the training, Todd had the heart attack. I didn’t think I would be able to complete the certification process, which involved team teaching and sending in a nearly flawless video of myself teaching Body Pump. I was able to finish the process in the weeks after Todd came home from the hospital, and I became a certified Body Pump instructor in November. I am now teaching classes at the YMCA.
Our family was blessed to be able to all travel together to ski in New Mexico in early December
We are so blessed in this crazy, full life. and are thankful for our friends, family and our church. We are happy to announce that we have started a YouTube channel to share our crazy adventures. We would love it if you would subscribe to our channel and share with your friends and family. By subscribing, you will receive an email letting you know whenever we post a new video (it doesn’t cost anything to subscribe). We are very entertained by our crazy family, and we are thrilled to share it and some positive family energy with the world. You can find our channel on YouTube by searching Erdnerds or by clicking the following link (to our intro video):
We hope that your holidays were filled with joy and wonder and that 2019 brings many blessings your way.
The Christmas season crept up on us this year as we were traveling for Thanksgiving. Before I knew it, we were putting up lights and scrambling to find a day when all the older kids could make the annual Erdner family Christmas tree hunt. Now, here we are, just a few days before Christmas. The house is decorated, lights are up, and we are in full swing with our Advent traditions. As a family, we love to celebrate whenever there is even a small reason for celebrating, so at Christmastime, we really love doing all of the special things together as we focus on the miracle of Jesus Christ coming to earth as a baby who would grow up, suffer and die for our sins.
Now that we are a family of 15, it is going to be rather difficult to keep this annual update short, but I will certainly try!
Abby turned 20 in June, and is in her 3rd year of college as a nursing student. She will graduate this May, one year early, and we just found out that she has a job as an ICU nurse after graduation!! She applied for a special program in which a nursing student gets extra hours in their desired unit during their final semester, thus gaining valuable extra experience. Not only that, but a student in this program gets paid for the extra hours AND they are offered a job upon graduation. Abby has maintained an excellent grade point average throughout her time in college and in the nursing program. This fall, she tutored first year nursing students, and she has been working part-time in the PACU at St. David’s in Southwest Austin. We couldn’t be more proud of our firstborn, and the amazing, godly, compassionate, personable, fun-loving young woman she has become. We look forward to seeing all that the future holds for our sweet Abby.
Datiya turned 19 in October. What an amazing senior year she had, full of accomplishments, including placing 4th in debate with her Team Policy partner at the NCFCA National Championship in June. She graduated from high school, ready to take on the world! Datiya was accepted into a competitive vet tech program in which she is one of 12 students. When she graduates, she will be trained to help care for every animal imaginable. I compare her to a nurse, except for animals. It’s funny how similar all of the knowledge she has to master is to what Abby is learning as a nursing student, except that it applies to animals instead of humans. Datiya has proven to be able to balance school, work, and life, earning straight A’s her first semester. Datiya made the wise decision to save money and live at home in an apartment we finished out above our garage. We bought a cute little Toyota Corolla for her to commute in, and she has a pretty sweet setup. We are very proud of how well Datiya is doing. She is witty, beautiful, intelligent, hard-working, and a very loyal, faithful friend. We are pleased with the young woman God is growing her to be.
David is 17 as of May and in his senior year of high school. The one thing about having lots of kids so close in age is that when they start to grow up, it is quite a whirlwind. I can’t believe we will have another high school graduate this May. It’s a bittersweet time of life watching all of my babies grow up. David is such a great young man. He is easy-going, very smart (especially when it comes to math), confident, athletic, and mature. David did very well last speech and debate season, making it to Nationals in Duo, Apologetics and Team Policy Debate. He and his partner (same partner for both Duo and Debate) placed 17th in the nation in debate and they made it to quarterfinals in Duo. David is taking most of his classes at ACC this year, getting dual credit so he can hopefully finish college early. His college applications are in, and we are waiting to hear back and see where he gets accepted. David is working at Burgerfi, playing on the Lonestar Elite Classic National League soccer team, and also is on the Mock Trial Team at One Day Academy. He is an attorney on both sides for Mock Trial, and we are looking forward to seeing how the team performs at the upcoming competitions. In addition, David will be debating with Nina this year as well as competing in speech. His senior year is flying by, and soon he will be onto the next stage of life. We are so proud of David, and what an all-around great young man he is. It will be exciting to see where God takes him in the next few years.
Nina just turned 16 in December and got her driver’s license on her birthday. This girl is seriously growing up way too fast! Nina started taking dual credit classes at ACC in the fall, and is signed up for more for next semester. She is also taking Chemistry at One Day Academy and is an intern for the Biology class (meaning, she helps grade and do other things to help the teacher). She has really enjoyed the review of Biology this year. Nina is very interested in becoming a doctor, and she is planning her courses accordingly. She started ACC a year earlier than the older three, and she is very ambitious, conscientious, earning A’s in both college level classes as well as all her other classes. Last debate season, Nina did very well, making it to Regionals in Lincoln Douglas debate, as well as 5 speech events, making her an ironman (making it to Regionals in debate as well as at least 5 speech events). Nina won 1st place in Illustrated Oratory at Regionals, and made it to nationals in that event as well as Persuasive speaking. She is looking forward to this year debating with David. Nina has been working out with me for about a year–we go to Body Pump weight training classes together at the YMCA. Lately, we have been training for a half marathon. We finished a 10 mile run this past weekend, and will run in the 3M Half Marathon in Austin near the end of January. I love spending so much time with Nina, and we have become very close lately. One more exciting accomplishment for Nina is that she made it onto the Hays County Queen’s Court in 4-H! She is very excited for the opportunity to serve in this way this year. So far, she has been in two parades with the Queen’s Court, and is getting very good at smiling and waving. This beautiful, spunky young lady has a lot going for her, and we are so thankful she is in our family.
Enoch turned 14 in July, and he is a very strong kid who knows how to go for what he wants in life. He is outgoing and fun, with many friends. Enoch loves to meet new people, and he is very good at making people feel comfortable and at home. He easily makes friends everywhere he goes. Enoch is in 8th grade, and is taking a few classes at One Day Academy for the first time. He has a lot of work to keep up with, and he is doing a very good job so far. Enoch is doing all of this while still playing soccer, doing martial arts, and getting ready for the coming speech and debate season. Last season, Enoch and Nina made it to Regionals with their very funny Duo interpretation. Enoch will be competing in Lincoln Douglas this year for debate, and he is preparing a duo with a friend in Houston! That makes things a bit challenging for practices, but so far it has been fun, and we are hoping they will do well. Enoch hit a major growth spurt recently, and he is rapidly outgrowing all of his clothes. His voice is getting deeper, and he is looking less like a little boy and more like a young man. Enoch makes life fun and interesting, and we are blessed to have him in our family.
Haddie is 13 as we adjusted her age to give her a boost as she is severely delayed and can use a little extra time to “catch up.” Haddie remains happy and smiley, basking in the love of her large family, full of brothers and sisters. We thought about enrolling Haddie in school this year, but have decided to keep her home as she is eager to learn from me, and we feel the environment she has at home is the best for her specific issues. Haddie is struggling to learn English, and still has a very limited vocabulary. It seems like she can’t very easily retain information, and she even has trouble identifying numbers and counting in Chinese. She is somewhat of a mystery, as she can remember some things well, but overall, the process of learning English and seemingly everything else has been painfully slow for her. We have her in speech therapy, and the therapist wants us to focus on receptive vocabulary for now. She can’t recall very many things to spontaneously say them verbally, and we are hoping her ability to speak on her own will come in time. We are trying to set realistic goals for her, and I’m working on getting some more evaluations for her, so we can better understand what her limitations are and what we can do to help her reach her full potential. The good news is that she is very eager to do her school and will work hard every day. Most importantly, Haddie has a family that loves and accepts her just the way God made her, and we are so thankful to see the joy she gets from being a part of our big, crazy family.
Lillah will be 13 in April, and she is growing a lot. She is almost as tall as I am, and she will outgrow me soon. Lillah loves animals, especially horses, and she is now taking riding lessons once per week, to her delight. Lillah loves living on the farm, and she is the main caretaker of the livestock these days. She is still dancing at a wonderful little dance studio, and she can be seen dancing around the house when she is not reading a book. Lillah is very well-known by the librarians at our library, and she is pretty convinced that she has read every book they have (not quite, I think). This will be Lillah’s first year competing as a senior in speech. She is relieved that she is off the hook for debate this year. Lillah is growing into a sweet young lady, helpful and thoughtful. The vote is still unanimous among her family members that the word that best defines her is “sweet,” and we are delighted with the young lady she is becoming.
Eden is 14, but we are changing her age to 12 to give her a little boost due to her developmental delay. She is a sweet, happy girl, and she is thriving in our family. Eden loves to please, so she is quick to say, “Yes ma’am” and do whatever is asked of her. She will help with dishes, watching Tovi, and cleaning her room. Eden very eagerly does her school, and she is getting a more solid grasp on her ABC’s and pre-reading learning. She is working steadily through her Kindergarten Math book, and she is getting more proficient with writing, cutting, and other fine-motor skills which were not well-developed when she came home from China. We were able to get Eden into speech therapy, occupational therapy, and she will begin physical therapy to help make her stronger as she deals with severe scoliosis and hip dysplasia. It is so wonderful to see Eden understanding that she belongs in our family and that we are hers forever. She has a quick laugh, and is always happy for everyone who does something well or gets something good. Eden is social, and really enjoys it when we have friends over to our house. She is slowly learning to play, but she will still check in with me every few minutes. The biggest area of growth for Eden has definitely been her security in knowing and trusting that we are not going to abandon her. She used to cry and freak out if I had to leave her, and now, while she will definitely want to know when I will be back, she will just say, “Bye, Mom!” when I leave instead of breaking down in tears. It is such a blessing to be this precious little girl’s mama.
Simeon turned 10 in June, and continues to be a super-sweet, thoughtful boy. He is also a brilliant little student, who loves to learn new things. He will check out fun books at the library as well as books about subjects about which he wants to learn. I’ve called him my little scholar for a long time, and that description still fits him well. Simeon is also super athletic, and enjoys playing soccer and doing martial arts. He just earned his Dahn Bo Nym belt, which means he is now a candidate for black belt (it will be another two years or so of training before he earns his black belt). Simeon is a self-taught gymnast, and he is actually quite talented at gymnastics. During our sabbatical this past summer, he did a back flip in front of all the landmarks we visited. He had an audience for his acrobatics everywhere we went, and even got a couple of tips in New York City! He is thinking about taking gymnastics classes and maybe joining a competitive team someday. Last year, Simeon traveled to every speech and debate tournament with me and the older kids, and he timed every round possible at every tournament. At Nationals, he timed something like 20 rounds total! I got many compliments from people who judged with him as their timer, about how mature and articulate he is, and what a nice young man. He is a remarkable little boy, and a blessing to us all.
Jed turned 8 in September, and is a spunky little guy, full of tons of energy and fun. He keeps us laughing. One day, I think he will be a famous comedian on TV. Ever since he was a little boy, Jed has had a perpetual look of mischief on his face. His eyes sparkle, and he has a funny little smirk on his face at all times. I am always wondering what is going on inside his head behind the sparkle in his eyes. Jed has been practicing reading, and is getting better and better every day. He is a whiz at math, and is working through all his schoolwork very steadily this year. Jed is a great little athlete, and is playing up a year in soccer. He hustles all over the place and is fast and fearless on the field. It is fun to see him running around out there. Speaking of running, Jed demonstrated for us the other day that he can definitely keep up with the runners in our family. We went on a family run, and Jed was leading the pack the whole time. He went up and down the big hills in our neighborhood without any trouble at all. I see a future in cross-country for this boy. Jed is outgoing and funny and keeps us on our toes. He is now a red belt in Kuk Sool Won martial arts, and he has come a long way with learning to channel his energy and focus on learning things that are challenging for him. We love having our energetic, witty Jed in our family to keep us entertained.
Daniel is 10, and doing well. We have changed his age to 7 to reflect his severe delays and give him longer in the school system to be able to get services. We decided in late August, right before school started, that we should enroll him in school. I spent a lot of time last year chasing Daniel around and making sure he wasn’t getting into trouble. He is very hyperactive and has moments of being extremely oppositional, especially with me. For his own good and for my sanity as well as to help me be able to turn my attention back to all the kids I’m homeschooling, we worked with the school to get Daniel into the place he needs to be. There is a brand-new elementary school not too far from us where Daniel is enrolled as a Kindergartener. He is developmentally around 5 years old or younger, so it is a perfect place for him. After a couple of months of being mainstreamed in the Kindergarten class, they finally completed all of the evaluations, and it was determined that Daniel should spend the first hour of school with the Kindergarten class and then the rest of the day in the Special Education classroom. This seems to be working really well for Daniel, and he has improved a lot since adjusting to this new routine. Daniel has been really happy during the holidays so far. He does seem to miss school, but he has been enjoying the time at home with the family, and he has laughed and smiled so much recently. Daniel isn’t always genuinely smiling and laughing, so it’s really a blessing seeing him really seem to enjoy the other children and all of the traditions this season brings. We are thankful for Daniel and all the progress he has made, and we are looking forward to seeing how much more he will improve and what the Lord will direct us to do to help him live a full life.
Hezi turned 6 in November, and it’s incredible to see our littlest ones growing up so much. Hezi can be a serious little boy, and he often wakes up and starts on his school right after breakfast so that he can finish quickly and have more time to play. Hezi is learning how to read, and he is quickly mastering it. Hezi also excels at math, and loves his phonics workbooks. He is also playing soccer this year, and he loves being part of a team. As the 9th soccer player in the family, Hezi dominates in his age group, often scoring several goals during a game. The sport he keeps talking about trying, however, is baseball. We are considering letting him try that out, even though it wouldn’t be the most convenient thing to do. It would be adorable, and sometimes with kids, that’s the ultimate goal. 🙂 We are so blessed to have this precious little boy in our family.
Our little Tovi is not so little anymore. We all still call him the baby, but it’s sad to think that he will be turning 4 in April! Tovi is adorable, and pretty much everyone in the family spoils him, though we all know we need to stop. There are advantages to being the youngest of 13, as all the siblings want him to love them the most. Datiya invites him up to her room and gives him treats. Abby adores him and calls him her baby. Even big, cool, David loves that little boy to death. It’s actually very sweet to see a 17-yr-old boy playing with his toddler brother. Tovi is a tough little guy, though. He climbs and jumps, runs, hops, and rides scooters with great coordination. He can kick the soccer ball accurately into a goal, throw a baseball and football, and do just about anything athletic you can think of. He is seriously the most coordinated little boy I’ve ever seen. It will be interesting to see what he will be able to do as he gets older. I think someday Tovi will grow up and be a CEO because he loves to try and boss everyone around. He is sweet, happy, smiling and laughing all day long, adored by all, and just a delight to have in our family. I am so glad God, in His goodness, blessed us with our little Toviel (whose name means “goodness of God”). On hard days, he truly is my little sunshine, and I’m so grateful to have him.
Todd is doing well, working for Intel. We missed sharing an update last Christmas, so many of you may not know that Todd’s position at Intel was eliminated right before we left for China summer of 2016. He had one month to find another job within the company, or he would have had to move on. In less than two weeks, he had a couple of new opportunities within Intel, and the day before we left for China he accepted his current position. He has been enjoying this group, which is a bit of a change for him. Since Todd was blessed with another job at Intel, he was able to take his sabbatical this year. We left in mid-May and traveled up the east coast from Austin, to Destin, FL, to North Carolina, Assateague Island (wild horses!), Washington, DC, New York, Pittsburgh, PA, Chicago, and ending up at Nationals in St. Paul, MN. It was an amazing trip with so many memories and adventures! We bought a new Ford Transit van before we left for our trip, and it was packed to the gills, with every seat taken and a luggage rack on top. What a blessing to all get to be together for this time as we know that with the older kids growing up and moving out, these times will be fewer and father between. I will post pictures of some of the highlights of the trip at the end of this update.
I’m still managing the home front, homeschooling, cooking lots of food, and trying to civilize all these little boys. I’m not too organized and don’t have everything together most of the time, but we have been getting our school done (or at least the important things), doing some fun projects, going to park day almost every week, and trying to keep the house decent/not completely disgusting (not an easy task with 7 boys and two dogs in the house). I’ve started a home business with Rodan + Fields which is fun, rewarding, and bringing in a little extra income, which is nice. I have also been doing martial arts with Enoch, and I am now a Dahn Bo Nym along with him and Simeon, which means I am on the road to black belt. I love the challenge of this new goal. I do keep busy, and I don’t do everything perfectly. I am not super organized or perfectly patient, but I love this life. I know I’m very, very blessed, and I am so thankful for everything the Lord has graciously given our family — a strong marriage, our beautiful, amazing children, a great place to live, a wonderful church family, and all of the joyful craziness this life brings. We always love having visitors, so if you find yourself in Austin (or if you live here and we haven’t seen you in a while), please get in touch and stop by the ranch to visit with us.
We pray that you are enjoying the holiday season, counting your blessings and able to spend time with those you love. We know this is a hard time of year for many, and so we also pray that if you are going through a difficult time or if this season brings painful memories for you, you are able to find comfort. Most of all, we pray that you will remember the reason that we celebrate, and that you will know Him–Jesus, the One who came from heaven to bring salvation to mankind! Without Him, there would be no Christmas! Joy to the World!
Love,
The Erdner Family
Todd, Michelle
Abby (20), Datiya (19), David (17), Nina (16), Enoch (14), Haddie (13), Tehillah (12), Eden (12), Simeon (10), Jedidiah (8), Daniel (7), Hezekiah (6), and Toviel (3.5)
Well, it’s been several months since my last post, so we are long overdue for an update. I don’t have any *real* excuses for my lack of diligence in creating new blog posts except, well, maybe the fact that we have 13 children. Yeah, that might count as a good excuse.
We recently celebrated one year with our precious Eden and Daniel. We celebrated “Gotcha Day” on July 18th. It’s really hard to believe they have been in our family for a year now.
So, everyone is doing really well. The reality is, however, that adoption is really hard. It isn’t the fairy tale you might want to think it is. We love our adopted children, and we are so blessed to have them in our family. But ADOPTION IS HARD!
Eden is sweet and compliant. She has amazing resilience. This little girls has been through so much, and she is strong and brave. I have a lot to learn from her. One thing I believe I have written about in a past post about her is her ability to be genuinely happy for someone else. She is also very kind to everyone and so cheerful most of the time.
Sometimes particular children aren’t very nice to her, and she is always so kind back. I wish I were as quick to forgive and so eager to rejoice with others as is our Eden. Lessons Eden is teaching me. We discovered shortly before our sabbatical trip in May that Eden is deaf in her right ear and has moderate hearing loss in her left ear. Despite the limitations to her hearing, she has learned a TON of English. She chatters away all day long. Eden has shown that she is very eager to learn. We have covered basics to lay the foundations for reading and basic math, and while she has some challenges to learning, she is doing really well with both. I’m aiming to have her reading by the end of this school year. Eden had surgery recently to reshape her ears which were congenitally malformed, so that she can be fitted for her hearing aids. I can’t wait to see how her language improves even more once she can hear better! We are also watching Eden’s back growth for progression of scoliosis. She currently has a 25% curvature in the upper back, and the doctor said if it progresses, we will need to consider putting her in a full-time brace to prevent it from worsening. Eden has been brave through every medical procedure. There are challenges with Eden, as there are with the other children, and I have been humbled by my own lack of patience with her at times. She is constantly asking the same questions over and over and repeating the same things all day long. At times, I lose my patience with her in these things, and school with her can be frustrating at times. I pray daily that she would see the love of Jesus in me, despite all of my own shortcomings.
Daniel is still very cute and charming, and still extremely challenging. He has picked up a lot of vocabulary in the last year as well, in terms of understanding and trying to talk. Daniel’s speech continues to be very limited. His pronunciation is very poor, and he only says a word or two at a time. He has added some short phrases, and I can understand most of what he says. The speech therapist we have been working with for about a year now, doesn’t think he will ever speak fluently. This is not uncommon for children with Cornelia deLange Syndrome, and we are actually really happy that he can speak the way he does. However, we may be adding more sign language to help him be able to communicate more fully. We did finally get a confirmed diagnosis of a submucosal cleft palate that affects his speech, and we are working with a craniofacial specialist to determine if corrective surgery should be performed. Behaviorally, Daniel continues to be very, very challenging. He seems to want to bother everyone all day long. He can’t stop moving, has obsessive-compulsive tendencies, and is very sneaky all day long as well. It was extremely challenging for me to keep track of him while also trying to homeschool everyone last school year. He was very resistant to learning anything at all from me, and would tear up papers, workbooks, anything I was trying to work on with him. If I got busy helping another child with something, Daniel would sneak away to another part of the house and get into everything he could find. This includes, books, CDs, DVDs, papers (sometimes important papers). I am constantly finding a book or DVD Daniel has relocated from where it belongs to a random place like between couch cushions or under other books or in a cabinet where it doesn’t belong. However, Daniel has improved in so many ways behaviorally, including being able to play for a little while with the other children. We bought a large inflatable water slide at the beginning of the summer, and he can often be found playing there with Tovi, Eden, Haddie, and the other younger boys. It is amazing to see him doing this and playing in a positive way with the other children, sometimes for an hour or more. AND he will slide down the slide, which isn’t something he has been too happy to do in the past. Daniel learned to ride a bike this year, and he loves to ride along when we go on walks. He is improving in knowing what is expected of him behaviorally and trying to do it. I know he just can’t control himself a lot of the time. He just reaches out and touches things, or gets up and runs around or says little words over and over. The challenges of Cornelia deLange Syndrome along with the effects of the trauma he has been through are a whopper of a combination. I have seen my own sinfulness in my lack of patience with him over and over, and I daily pray for supernatural intervention to make it through the days with Daniel. All of the challenges have led us to prayerfully make the decision to put Daniel in public school this year. So far, it has been a Godsend! The school has so many resources and services for children with special needs. When I first took him to enroll him, they told me they were going to place him in a mainstream 5th grade class (because he is “10”) and then observe and evaluate him for 45 days. He could then receive special services through the school and an individualized plan would be created for him. I explained to them all of the challenges he has, and when they met him and saw how he behaves, they started working very quickly to fast track this process. They also took my advice to place him in a Kindergarten class instead of the 5th grade while they are evaluating him. He is very small, and fits right in with the Kindergarten class. I have been very impressed with everyone at the school and with everything they are doing to help Daniel and support us as well. They even got him approved to ride the special ed. bus, which wasn’t supposed to happen until we had the meeting to create his plan (which probably won’t happen for a while). He rode the bus for the first time yesterday, and he was so excited about it and not at all afraid! He had actually been pointing to the buses and then to himself and saying “Daniel” for over a week, so we knew he was very interested in riding the bus. They have an aide on the bus who helps the kids and he is met at the bus by a special ed. teacher to go to his class. He is picked up and dropped off right at the end of our driveway! What a blessing! So far, he has done pretty well there, with some of the expected challenges. He has a hard time in the afternoons. Right before school started, we finally got an appointment with the neurologist, who said he also believes Daniel is on the Autism spectrum. He prescribed a medication to help him with his ADHD, and we are working to figure out what dose will work. I am not a huge fan of medicating children, but if I have ever met a child who could benefit from it, it would be Daniel. I think it has been helping him to calm down and control himself a little bit, but I haven’t seen a dramatic change. Hopefully, moving forward we will find something that works really well, with the help of the neurologist.
One thing adopting the children has taught me is how frustrating it is to deal with many different doctors when trying to help your child who has special needs. This is for all three of the children.
I have never had to deal with these issues before, and now I see how maddening it can all be. It took us months to get in to see the Genetic Specialist, and we still don’t have conclusive answers on many things. The shunt that was placed in Daniel’s brain while he was in China is apparently useless and wasn’t ever necessary in the first place. His blood work came back negative for CDLS, but that can happen with this syndrome, and he definitely has it. The Genetic doctor told us that she believes Eden also has a genetic disorder, but so far the blood tests haven’t helped us to pinpoint what it is. The medical assistant from the office who called me with the results couldn’t answer any of my questions, and we now have to wait until November to see her again. Maybe it doesn’t really matter what the genetic conditions are in particular, but it would be nice to know and also to get an official diagnosis because insurance companies need them in order to pay for whatever treatments and services are needed. Daniel’s diagnosis is now more official, although we still need an actual written document from the geneticist to show other doctors and places from which we are receiving services for him. I have spent countless hours on the phone trying to get appointments, trying to find specialists, and often I end up no further towards getting the help we need. There are huge waiting lists for specialists (such as the developmental pediatrician for Daniel). It takes months to be seen and even then we often don’t get the answers or help for which we have been waiting. I spent several months last year trying to find a therapist certified in a certain type of therapy that we have been told will help Daniel with his behavioral and attachment issues. I kind of gave up after several therapists were either not taking new clients or talked to me and said they couldn’t help us for various reasons. I am renewing my search this fall, however, and hope to find someone based on new referrals from the neurologist.
Another frustration has been dealing with everything the doctors (and insurance) require for one reason or another. When we first came home with Daniel and Eden, they needed dental work, but they couldn’t tolerate all the x-rays, exams and procedures. The dentist said the only way they would be able to be treated was under full sedation. The anesthesiologist wouldn’t put them under before assuring that they didn’t have other issues that could be a problem for the anesthesia. Of course, we understood this. With Daniel’s CDLS, there can be heart issues among other problems, the shunt could be an issue, along with other things. In order to check all these things out, however, Daniel needed to be sedated as he was literally terrified of any procedure and we couldn’t get him to cooperate with even simple things like an abdominal sonogram. Poor child has been traumatized, so it wasn’t his fault at all, but it was reality. So in order to get all the clearances that the anesthesiologist required, he had to be put under several times! Isn’t that just MADNESS?? I could write a whole book about the frustrations related to medical care that I have experienced in the past year. This post is becoming a novel already, so I’ll spare you. We are now in a better place with regard to Daniel tolerating medical things. He isn’t terrified anymore for simple things, and he has had hearing tests, abdominal sonograms, and other minor things done without any sedation at all. He’s even very compliant with blood work now. So, he’s come a long way, and that has made things way easier. Daniel had one surgery for undescended testicles around Christmas and is scheduled for another in about a week. The medical things for him and Eden seem never-ending, but we are getting used to it.
Haddie is a sweet, happy girl. When she came to us in late December, right before New Year’s, we knew she was a bit slow mentally. She was about to turn 14 and is a young woman physically. She had already started menstruating, and her body is developing. However, cognitively, Haddie is severely delayed. When Todd and Nina first got her in China, it became quickly apparent that she had some issues with personal care related to feminine hygiene. She urinated in her pants several times while they were still in China. We attributed it to the fact that she was probably very overwhelmed with all the newness and excitement, but it was something we weren’t prepared for. Since she has been home, Haddie has urinated in her clothes at least a handful of times. I’m not sure what that is all about, but now I know to expect it sometimes. Once, she soiled herself in bed, and she got up and tried to clean up the mess herself, and it was quite a disaster, with a huge mess in the bathroom I won’t even begin to describe. Most of the time, this doesn’t happen. I haven’t figured out anything I can pinpoint as to why she might have accidents, but it just happens sometimes. Haddie has been extremely slow to pick up English, and she really seems to have a problem with retaining information of any kind. We are still working on her remembering some basic words. She seems to understand more than she can actually recall to speak herself. I can give her instructions, and she will follow them. But she has only recently begun to be able to ask for a few things (banana, cereal, more) without us prompting her the words. She is more inclined to point at what she wants and smile than to try and come up with words. We are patiently working to help her slowly be able to say things in English for herself. Counting, math, recalling the letters of the alphabet, which we have gone over countless times, are all very challenging for Haddie. Even in her native language, the abstract concept of associating a number with an object seems to be difficult for her. We are trying to get her the help she needs. We took her to the neurologist, and he believes there is a neurological issue, but he said we will probably never know what it is. He said we can take her to speech therapy, occupational therapy, etc. to try and draw her out and help her learn. I am looking into some options for her. Despite these issues, Haddie is the sweetest, happy girl, and very compliant (not quite as compliant as Eden). She loves to help wash dishes and clean around the house, and she is the resident expert sweeper extraordinaire! She adores all of her siblings, and loves playing with little Tovi. She is eager to learn, just very slow at it. I am again being stretched in patience as I try to lovingly repeat things I have taught her countless times. Haddie, of all three of our adopted children, can give real hugs. Daniel and Eden are still learning how to really hug and accept hugs and love. Haddie just basks in the love and affection of her family.
All the other children are doing well. Abby is in her senior year of college and will graduate in May as an RN! Datiya graduated in May, and is beginning a Vet Tech program. David is a senior is high school and is doing so well at everything. Nina wants to grow up way too fast. Enoch is starting 8th grade, and taking a few outside classes for the first time ever! The younger children are all growing and learning so much all the time. Tovi has stopped imitating Daniel’s negative behaviors, which is really quite a relief. We are blessed with our busy houseful.
I haven’t written about all of these things in complaint at all. This post is just a window into the world we have taken on as parents not only of many children, but also three adopted older children with special needs. I don’t regret our decision to follow the calling to which God called us in adopting these three precious ones, and I am not even seeking for anyone to write me back with advice of any kind. I have gotten plenty of that. I’m just sharing our life. Sometimes people will ask me if I had known the challenges would I have still chosen to adopt these children, or this one or that one, and I have to say, yes. This life isn’t easy, but I would choose it again. I feel that God is refining me every day. I am humbled every, single day. I see my shortcomings every, single day. I see my need for my Savior every day as well. That makes the journey worthwhile. I never forget my need for Him and my complete dependence on Him. To me, that is grace. I have learned so much from these three brave and beautiful children God has blessed us with through adoption. And that is something I wouldn’t trade for an easier life. I trust God with their futures, just as I do for all of my children, and I know the journey is going to be a long one. I am okay with that. I am running the marathon. I am leaning on the Lord to help me keep up with what He has for me. I am accepting that I can’t do it all and that it will absolutely not be perfect. I am okay with that, too. Life is messy, busy, full of craziness and ugliness, but God is my strength. Bring it on.
“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” Hebrews 12:1-2a
I’m a debate mom. During tournament season, our family spends at least one long weekend per month traveling around Texas or Oklahoma to participate speech and debate tournaments. This activity is a centerpiece of the home education for our children. I love and value this activity greatly. I’m always trying to recruit my friends to join us. Granted, competitive speech and debate requires a lot of commitment to keep up with all that goes into participating. One of the things with which we must keep up is all of the debate attire. Our home isn’t always the cleanest, most organized place, to put it lightly. (Why not? I only have 13 children..haha) I have a few systems in place to help things run smoothly, but let’s just say I can’t sail that ship without the crew on board. And my crew often isn’t on board with my neat and organized plans. When it comes to debate attire, we have a hanging area by our washer and dryer where the kids used to keep their tournament clothes. However, there was so much stuff hanging there, and not all of it fit someone at any given moment, so I told all the children of competition age to move their debate clothes to their own closet and keep track of it there. A few days before each tournament, we gather all of the items that need to be dry cleaned. Each student is responsible for his or her own debate clothing. Should be easy enough, right? Continue reading Sometimes it’s the Little Things→
I knew it the moment I saw her at the orphanage in China. We were there to visit the orphanage in which our daughter, Eden, had been living for the previous 4 years. We had just completed the adoption of Daniel and Eden two days before, and we knew we were in for a challenge with both of them due to all the medical and emotional needs our children have. But when I saw this beautiful girl at the orphanage, and she was following us around while the teachers were telling us that she really wanted a family, too, and would age out (turning 14) in January 2017 (a short 5 months from when we were there in July 2016), I knew she was meant to be our daughter. The children who had been in a dance class together with Eden all put on their dance for us. As I watched them dancing, I realized that each of them (there were 5 or 6 there dancing), were being adopted or would be adopted within the next couple of months; all except for this sweet girl who so wanted a family. I remembered seeing her in the photos we periodically received of Eden in the orphanage before we traveled. She is straight and tall, and looked older than Eden, so I had assumed that she was older and had already aged out or was a worker in the orphanage. What I realized then was that these two young ladies were friends in the orphanage, and had spent the last four years together there. While the children were dancing, a warm, gentle breeze blew through the open window and brushed across my cheek. I felt like Elijah, knowing that God was in the gentle blowing in 1 Kings 19. My friend who was adopting two children from that orphanage as well, turned to me and said, “I think she’s your daughter.” I got goosebumps.
When we got back in the van to leave for lunch with the children and the orphanage director and teachers, I said to Todd, “We need to come back for her.” Todd’s response was something like, “Are you crazy?” I’ve heard that from him before. 🙂 The truth was, since this little girl had such a short time, only a family who was already in the process of adopting, or one that had just completed an adoption could most likely adopt her. We thought about advocating for her, but we knew that her chances were very, very slim of someone moving to get everything done in time to adopt her before she aged out. Given Todd’s less than agreeable response to the idea of adopting another child at that time, I decided I would pray about it and just see what happened after we got back home and settled with our new children.
Of course, life was rather crazy upon our return, as it usually is, and even more so as we were adjusting to life with two new children who didn’t speak our language, and who had different needs emotionally and physically. It was easy to let a month go by and not really do anything about the little girl on the other side of the world. I can’t say I stopped thinking about her, however. There was probably not one day that passed without a thought or a prayer about this child. In early September, one month home from China, I sent an email to a different agency to see if they could locate the file of Eden’s friend. She had actually been on the list with the agency we used to adopt Daniel and Eden, but her file had been released back into the shared list right around the time we were in China. I was glad about that because we weren’t very happy with that agency, and in the very unlikely case that we would be moving forward, we wouldn’t want to use that agency again. The only problem with not using the same agency was that in order to do a dossier copy, which is what would have been the easiest and fastest way to proceed, we would have had to go with the same agency. It is not very common for the Chinese government to agree to take a dossier copy for a family if they go with a different agency.
I was able to view this sweet young lady’s file and see her photos. According to her file, this girl had no physical disabilities, and her special need was listed as “developmental delay.” She had been found at one month old, and had lived in the orphanage ever since. The file said that she had developed strong attachments to her teachers, which is a really good thing.
I took all of this information and…..did nothing for another month. I really didn’t want to bring it up with Todd again. He had seemed pretty certain that we were not going to be adopting another child so soon after completing our adoption of Daniel and Eden. I wanted to keep the peace. So, I prayed. Every so often, Eden would look through the little photo album that was sent with her from the orphanage. Her little friend was in almost every picture with her. Several photos showed them laughing together. I looked at these pictures and felt a little twinge in my heart. I was supposed to do something about this. But, I was afraid to push it with my husband. So, I let another month go by. With the passing of another month went the ticking of the clock that was counting down this young lady’s chances of ever having a family. And I began to have dreams about her every night.
In early October, Eden saw me looking at a picture of her friend on the computer as I was praying for her. She got really excited, gasped and said, “(the girl’s Chinese name) coming here? Daddy go get her!” Hmmm, I hadn’t even said anything of the sort. I responded to her, saying, “Let’s pray and see.” After that, she began to ask me every day if Daddy would be going to get her friend and bring her here. She showed me where we would put her bed. I would tell her, “Maybe she will come.” We prayed. I didn’t ask Todd. I just couldn’t bring myself to go there and stir up any confrontation. Then, Eden started to ask Todd about her friend, too. He would kind of grunt and say, “no.” Eden would come and tell me, “Daddy say ‘no’ not coming,” and sadly walk away. I continued to have dreams about this young lady. The contact I had at the new agency that had sent me the file would check in with me every couple of weeks, and she kept reminding me that if we thought we wanted to move forward with this girl, we would have to move quickly. They had seen adoptions completed within 4 months before, but every day we delayed, the likelihood of everything coming together in time was dwindling.
By the second week in October, I felt that God was pushing me to talk to Todd about this young lady. If I didn’t step out in faith and at least mention it to him again, I felt that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I hadn’t at least advocated for this child’s life. The morning I resolved to talk to my husband about her again, I received an email from the adoption agency telling me that basically we would have to begin the process in the next couple of days if she was even going to have a chance at being adopted. I knew I had to do something that day.
So, I sent Todd an email (I wasn’t really brave enough to talk to him about it quite yet in person) with the subject line “Christmas gift for Eden.” I sent him the file, and told him how I had not been able to stop thinking about the girl we had met at the orphanage. I wrote to him about my dreams, and about Eden’s persistence in asking me every day. I told him that time was running out and that we only had a few days. Nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh? I waited for a response, and that afternoon, Todd wrote me back with an answer that wasn’t “no,” but was more along the lines of, “It’s going to take an act of God to convince me that this is what we need to do, but what are the steps we would need to take and how much is this going to cost?” I breathed a somewhat relieved sigh, thinking to myself that at least this wasn’t a “no!”
The next day, I sent in our application with the new agency. We were quickly approved, and they sent me a timeline of what would need to happen when in order to even have a chance of completing the adoption before the girl’s 14th birthday in early January. We had less than 3 months to finish everything and get to China. It looked pretty dismal on paper, but I knew in my heart that this child was going to be a part of our family before she aged out. It was October 6th. They wanted us to have a completed (new) dossier FedExed to their office in Colorado by October 19th, or at the very latest the 20th as it would have to be sent to China by the 21st. It had taken us about 9 months to complete the dossier for Daniel and Eden’s adoption. It seemed impossible to me, but I knew God could do it. The first step was that we didn’t have the money for the first agency fee right away. It would take us some time to be able to get money together for all the steps, but all the agency fees would need to be paid before the dossier could be sent. This was about $10,000. Again, this seemed quite daunting. By that Saturday evening, donations came in that totaled around $3100, which was enough to cover the 1st agency fee and part of the homestudy update (this fee ended up being almost triple what it would have been because we had to go with a different social worker since the one who had done our home study said she couldn’t do it in time). On Monday, October 10th, we found out that all of our documents would have to be ready and completed by the 13th to overnight to a courier who could help us get it certified and authenticated and sent to CO by the 19th. This meant we had 3 days to have a home visit and have the new report written and signed off on by the agency. I couldn’t see how it would happen. Thankfully, we didn’t need to wait for birth certificates or our marriage license because we would be allowed to use copies of those. We would have to start the process of the homestudy update, which was the longest step. Todd wasn’t ready to commit to another $2500 just for the homestudy update. He thought that was ridiculous. However, we found a social worker who could do the home visit and have the report updated by the 13th. Incredible! Todd was going through the motions, but wasn’t really feeling comfortable with everything. We had physicals on Tuesday, I spent all night Tuesday and Wednesday uploading documents and information into the website for the homestudy update. Wednesday was the only day we could get our fingerprints done for the police reports. They only did them on Wednesdays. Todd kept telling me he didn’t want to do it, and he was uncomfortable. But he kept going through the motions. He did the physical. Wednesday, I thought he wasn’t going to get his fingerprints made, because he was pretty mad at me and uncomfortable with everything. When I went down to get mine done that afternoon, the man looked at my name and said, “Oh, Erdner! Your husband was here earlier!” I was a little shocked, but a little glimmer of hope remained in my heart. The next day, Todd expressed that he would do whatever it took to complete the steps for the adoption, even if we couldn’t know for sure if we would be pouring more money into a lost cause. There was a strong chance we wouldn’t get everything in time (immigration, etc. can take months that we didn’t have). At that point, however, I knew for sure that this was going to happen! We weren’t sharing with many people, because things were so iffy, but deep inside I never doubted.
Friday morning, the homestudy update was finished, and we had everything we needed. I was ready to FedEx everything to the courier, who would get it all authenticated and sent on to our agency. I called our agency to check on something, and was told that by a miracle, the CCCWA (China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption) was going to allow us to use a dossier copy! SO, even though we had miraculously gotten all of our documents together, we would only need to send the updated homestudy and two more documents in order to do the dossier copy! China rarely allows the use of a dossier copy for families going with a different agency! God was confirming to me that this was HIS doing! I was so ecstatic. This saved us a lot of money, and made things way easier and faster on the China end as well.
Since that day, all of the steps have fallen into place smoothly. We got our immigration approval within a couple of weeks when it can take a couple of months. Same with the immigrant visa and citizenship for our new daughter. It has been a whirlwind, and I have felt so humbled at times to be used by God in such an amazing story. I can’t even believe it sometimes. I remember when I became a Christian my Junior year of college. There was a new song out by an artist named Steven Curtis Chapman called “The Great Adventure” (I’m dating myself here). I remember thinking that I was now part of this big family of believers who had this great adventure to live. I had no idea what that truly meant. The last 20+ years have definitely been that adventure! And this amazing story we have been called to walk in has been one of the most wonderful adventures so far. Saying “yes” to God is not always easy, but it is always rewarding. I have to say if I had said “no” to many of the things God has called me to, I would have missed out on some amazing things. My salvation wouldn’t be affected, I believe, but, boy, would I have missed out. I am so thankful that I didn’t ignore God’s voice in my life the many times I have heard and obeyed, and I’m so blessed because I heeded His promptings and that still, small voice in that gentle breeze that day in China.
Last Thursday, December 15th, Todd and our daugther, Nina, flew to Beijing. They toured the Great Wall Saturday, and Monday morning in Changsha, China (Sunday night Austin time), they went and welcomed our new daughter, Hadassah, into our family! When that sweet girl saw Todd, she ran to him and gave him a big hug! That’s so wonderful, since we know it’s not uncommon for some kids to shy away from hugging and physical touch. Eden is still learning how to show affection by hugging. It definitely doesn’t come easy to her. I really wish I could be there with them right now, but it was important for me to be here for Eden and Daniel, and of course little Tovi, who is his Mama’s boy these days.
I can’t wait to be reunited with Todd, Nina and my new daughter, Haddie. I can’t wait to see Eden and Haddie together. I’m so excited to see what their future holds, and my prayer is that they will come to know the God who orchestrated this Christmas miracle.
If you would like to donate towards our adoption, to help us cover some of the costs of travel, agency fees, etc., we have a YouCaring site set up: https://www.youcaring.com/todd-michelle-erdner-and-family-for-adoption-472347
This is one song by Steven Curtis Chapman that has always stirred my heart, and now it really does have a special meaning for me. I definitely heard Him asking me, “What NOW?”
Mothering, homeschoolling, farm life, budgeting, cooking for a large family
The adventure begins…When we left Austin, about 20 minutes into our drive, our cargo shelf broke, scattering luggage all over the road…we quickly purchased a new one, which subsequently broke along the way, and we ended the trip with a third cargo shelf that made it home.
All of the kids together on a fallen log on a hike in the Great Smoky Mountains, North Carolina
Jed and Tovi in the Great Smoky Mountains
Todd and I took Lillah and Simeon on a 7-mile hike while we were camping in the Great Smoky Mountains…here is the view from the top
Simeon doing his back flip at Clingmans Dome, NC in the Great Smoky Mountains
Simeon’s back flip in front of the Statue of Liberty, NYC
Simeon got a tip from a bystander after performing this backflip in front of the Freedom Tower in New York City.
The gang in Times Square, NYC
Simeon’s back flip in Philadelphia, PA
Tovi enjoying the comfy grass at the National Mall, Washington, DC
Lillah was in heaven on Assateague Island, where we woke up to wild horses on the beach!
